June 28, 2008

Went for a walk today.

Okay, so one of the things I passed in today's walk was a "for sale" sign in front of a LOVELY building two streets over from us.

Now, I'm not looking to live *farther away* from the beach in a condo. If I'm buying a condo, I'm thinking LOWER street numbers than this, but still, I'll always LOOK, because, well, while we're not in the market today, we are starting to consider and we'd love to stay in Santa Monica. (Ideally, we want to buy the home currently owned by a family for whom I used to tutor nearly a decade ago... we've been taking Quinn by there for YEARS and showing him his room, the pool, where he'll park his first car, etc.)

Anyway.

I see that this particular property has a website, so I check it out, in case we want to find time to go by the open house tomorrow. Just feel out what a condo in Santa Monica would feel like (even though we'd much rather a house--yeah, who wouldn't, but this IS Santa Monica after all).

And I see at the website that this property is a HAIR larger than the space we currently occupy and it's... well...

Offered at $1,195,000.00

*blink* *blink* *blink*

Wow.

I'll keep renting by the beach, thankyouverymuch.

For now.

Wow.

Posted by bonnie at 11:07 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 13, 2008

Exciting Overnight

We have a Gladys Kravitz in our building.

Hell, I guess everyone does, really. Someone who makes it her business to know everyone else's. You can't receive a package without her asking, "Ooh, what'd you get? Who's it from? Is it your birthday? How old are you? Are you having a party?" and so on.

Bonus. Our Gladys is very loud. She doesn't have one of those "read the room" meters that allows her to know when she's overmodulating (which is always) and her favorite thing to do is to go out into the courtyard or front yard and blather on and on and on at 70dB about *anything* with anyone who will listen. (Poor mailman.)

Well, at 3:40am today, something terrifying happened. A loud crash that didn't stop for a while and ended with a car alarm going off. Scary and right out in front of our building and the kind of thing that woke us all up and sent us scrambling for the window to see if we needed to call 911.

A car was T-boned into the front of a parked car... but T-boning didn't make any sense because that would've meant this guy had come out of our neighbor's driveway and slammed into a car at 35 mph, which wasn't possible, considering the distance (and the sounds). The light of day revealed that he had been driving south on Lincoln and clipped a parked car, slammed it into the car in front of it, which slammed into the car in front of it, and because he was so drunk he didn't realize what was happening, he kept flooring it (clipped to/hung on the back of the first car) until he peeled around to the front of the car, landing T-boned after having shredded every outside edge of that car from its rear end to the front quarter-panel and having pushed that car so far into the curb that its tires all popped.

And, at around 3:43am, as we watched him try to figure out how to put his car into reverse to get off the car he had creamed the most, our Gladys Kravitz went running out into the street in her skivvies, on her cell phone with 911. She ran out to the car, right behind it, ignoring its reverse lights popping on and off as the driver tried to figure out how to back up and leave the scene (which he, of course, ended up doing). She asked, "Are you okay?" and since the guy had figured out how to turn off his blaring stereo but not how to leave the scene just yet, he staggered out of the car and toward her, to which she replied, "Sir, get back in your car. Sit down. You're in bad shape. You're in shock. Sit down."

He did and then realized he needed to turn ON his car again and then he was able to leave. Of course, he backed right into Gladys' direction, as she stood there in the middle of the street on call number two to 911, letting them know she smelled alcohol, it appeared he was about to leave the scene, and here's his license plate number.

Best part, she got to hang out in the street for an hour with cops and emergency personnel, got to ride in the back of the cop car to do the "identification of the suspect" up the road where he had been detained, and every neighbor who came out to see what was going on got to hear the whole story retold by Gladys--including the stuff she "figured out" but had absolutely no way of actually knowing, seeing as we were all inside our homes at the time of the impact.

Best BEST part, she gets to continue this story all day today, to anyone who will listen. And now that the owners of the parked cars across the street are coming by, she's on major neighborhood watch, so she can be the one to run out and greet them and tell them all about her encounter with the guy who wrecked their rides.

(Of course, I understand the irony that *I* am Gladys watching Gladys from my window and blogging about things she's only saying out loud and on a dozen phone calls and probably a few emails.)

Point is, it was a very exciting little bit of time in the overnight, and Keith and Quinn have enjoyed surveying the damage up close this morning and talking about drinking and driving, leaving the scene of an accident, physics of accident reconstruction, how to be a good witness, and all that cool father/son stuff.

Bless our Gladys and her loud mouth for being such a good neighbor. Truly. I may roll my eyes about her, but she's actually a good egg. Just a bit cracked.

Posted by bonnie at 11:26 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

April 25, 2008

Dear Bonnie,

(I hope readers will enjoy this composite sketch of my email inbox, today.)

Dear Bonnie, How can I submit on the films that you are casting? Thanks.

All of my breakdowns go out on Actors Access. Feel free to submit yourself electronically on the role for which you're best suited. And leave a note! We love notes. Thanks for your interest.

Dear Bonnie, I don't have an agent. How can I submit on films you're casting?

I put all of my breakdowns out on Actors Access, so you can submit yourself to me directly, without an agent or manager on your team. Thanks!

Dear Casting, I don't live in California. How can I submit on your stuff?

Actors Access is worldwide. Feel free to submit yourself and mention in the notes section of your submission whether you are a local hire to the area in which the film is shooting.

Dear Bon, I don't have an Actors Access account. How can I get my materials to you?

We are only pre-screening actors via Actors Access at this time. While it's free to have an Actors Access account, you will need to spend either $68 for a year's membership to Showfax (which also gets you unlimited sides downloads) or two bucks per submission. Thanks for your interest!

Casting, What a rip off! I'm not spending money to line your pockets just because you refuse to consider actors via email submissions. You suck.

I don't receive a penny of your submission money. Nor do I receive any kickbacks for choosing one of the electronic submission services over another. I prefer Actors Access because it's where all of my breakdowns, my submission history, my audition logs, my actor deals, and all of my correspondence regarding five years of projects lives. It's also really easy to use and costs the actors very little. I like having all of my submissions in one place and my producers like having one, simple interface from which we can all share a look at the submissions, notes, demos, and session videos. I refuse to consider email submissions because they are not convenient, nor do they help me keep all of my projects in one place and share the information with the production team.

Greedy Bastard, Why won't you let me mail you my headshot?

Knock yerself out! I have a large bin of headshots waiting to be opened by my intern. I do not look at hard copy submissions for specific roles on specific projects because I do all of my casting electronically via Actors Access and Breakdown Express (the agent and manager side of Actors Access). I'll review your materials during my next bit of downtime between projects, assuming my intern hasn't already reviewed and tossed your materials (because she knows what's lacking in my casting files, as well as what I have an abundance of, in terms of type, age, credits, etc.).

Why won't you look at my hard copy headshot for THIS project? I don't want to spend the two bucks on Actors Access!

Um, you do realize that it costs you money to print a hard copy headshot, print a resumé, staple the resumé to the headshot, print a cover letter, address an envelope, and put postage on the dang thing, right? Is your calculator working?

You need to see me for this project. Give me your address so I can FedEx you my materials.

I do not want you to FedEx your materials. Spend the two bucks and submit yourself electronically. I will review your submission via Actors Access and Breakdown Express, along with all of the others. A FedExed submission sits in the same bin as the rest of the mailed materials, which I do not review until I have downtime (assuming my intern hasn't tossed 'em by the time I get that downtime). Save your money. Don't FedEx me anything.

Dear Casting Director Who Hates Actors and Isn't as Accessible as She Likes To Think She Is, You suck. You should let people mail you stuff. Or FedEx. Or drop off.

Do you really understand what you're suggesting? That somehow a CD who puts all of her projects out on Actors Access is not as accessible as the rest of the CDs out there? Okay, think it through. There are hundreds of CDs who never list their projects on sites or services that are accessible to actors. Yes, actors "gain" access to these listings, but they usually have to buy that sort of thing on the sly and then, if it says, "electronic submissions only," then what? What do you do? Try to "crash" the system somehow by doing a drop-off or mailing and hoping that'll work?

Hey, believe me, I know that it DOES work sometimes, so I'm not saying that's an awful plan! But I am saying it's one that costs you more than the little $2 submission on my Actors Access-listed breakdown, right? Because most people are paying for these stolen casting notices (and sometimes key info has been CHANGED, rendering them worthless), and then there's the money for the hard copy submission materials, and if you're dropping it off, well, there's gas money and parking and all that jazz. And that's all for a "maybe get seen," since the CD was looking for electronic submissions only, and may just do like I do and keep your stuff in a bin 'til whenever there's free time. (Note: There is never free time.)

But okay, let's look even beyond those hundreds of CDs who don't put their stuff out on Actors Access and examine the dozens of CDs who simply pick up the phone, call their favorite agents, say, "I need a such-and-such," or, "Send me your top ten gals," or whatever, and there is NEVER a breakdown, NEVER even an indication that there is a project "out there" until it's too late and you've missed your shot at it.

Is THAT how accessible you'd like me to be? You'd like me to call my coverage reps at each of the agencies and just let 'em know I have a new film, send the script over, ask for their top pitches, take some meetings, and then cast the dang thing without ever being open to a non-union, non-repped, direct-from-actor submission? You'd like me to STOP being open to actors whose reps aren't hustling on low-budget indies (because there's no huge commission to be earned) but who know I love their work, so they have the opportunity to submit themselves directly to me? No more putting the script out on my casting website for all to read, so if there's a part in it for you--wherever you live--you can take your best shot by uploading an audition for me at the Cricket Feet Casting group at YouTube.com?

How "accessible" would you recommend I be, then? Since my current level of accessibility isn't working out for you?

It's not enough that you can read the breakdown? Read the script? Self-submit, no matter your location, union status, or representation status? And all that for free, free, and then two bucks for the last part of it? Not enough for you?

Well, damn. I guess I do suck, then.

Dear Bonnie, You DO suck. I hope your movie sucks as much as YOU do.

Ooh, that's perfect! I hope that too!!!!!

Cheers,
-Bon.
Inaccessible Casting

Posted by bonnie at 5:59 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

April 8, 2008

Other Bonnie, You're Killin' Me!

AUGH!!!!!

So, some other Bonnie out there (yes, I have her last name, I know where--city/state--she lives) put down her email address WRONG on something. On multiple somethings.

Her Gmail address is just ONE letter off from mine, but she apparently has drunken benders during which she writes down the address "my way" and I start getting emails about staff meetings (she's a professor), from students turning in late writing assignments (oy, the attachments), about approving pizza party flyers (oy, the typos), and occasionally confirming dinner reservations made via the web or progress reports on fundraising groups.

At first, I just deleted the mail. I get so much spam already, plus so much unsolicited actor email ("Do I have what it takes?" "Do you like my headshot?" "Can I send you my reel?" "Will u casted me in a fulm plz?" "Which of these agents should I sign with?" "Can I work for you?") that it just seemed simple. HIT DELETE. Move on.

And then I decided to reply, "Please remove me from your address book and/or mailing list. Thank you." And that's how I learned that "Other Bonnie" is a professor in Florida whose email address is almost exactly like mine.

Damn, that bitch either doesn't want her mail or has horrific handwriting. :\

Posted by bonnie at 1:22 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

March 8, 2008

Class of '88

So, I got word last month that my 20 year high school reunion was coming up here in August. (I'm currently on page two of the "Where Are They Now?" area of the website.)

Let's just say that I probably had it pretty good in high school--certainly better than I thought I had it at the time--and that my life was most like that of Andie in Pretty in Pink: creative, brilliant, from the wrong side of the tracks and very lucky to live just close enough to the edge of the city limits to attend such a good school filled with rich kids from two-parent households with loads of privilege they didn't appreciate, passionate, outspoken, in tighter with the upperclassmen and teachers than my peers, and so ready to get the hell out of there that I was ticking off days like a prisoner by the end of it all.

So, why is it that I find myself both horrified by and completely obsessed with the idea of going back for the 20-year?

(It's certainly not the prospect of reprising my one night stand with that cute guy from homeroom like at the 10-year reunion, is it? Nah.)

Posted by bonnie at 10:14 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 23, 2008

Wrap-around

Hee!

Keith always seems a little bit disappointed when the series finale of Beverly Hills, 90210 airs via our TiVo (y'know, because TiVo goes and picks it up on SoapNet every day) and then the pilot airs right after it.

It's like he secretly (or not so secretly) hopes that I will, this time around, lose interest in watching the best show ever, every single day.

"Not bloody likely!"

Hee!

Posted by bonnie at 9:45 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 3, 2008

You know you live in Southern California when

...the local news anchor, in response to the meteorologist's report about the storms on the way--the storms that are supposed to be some of the biggest storms we've had, bringing the most rain we've had in a decade--says (as a button to her colleague's story),

"So, really, the best thing we can advise is that everyone just take the four-day weekend and get out of town."

Wimps.

Posted by bonnie at 6:58 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 6, 2007

New Thing I've Started Saying All the Time

Okay, so Julie the Rockstar Intern sits in the floor (yeah, she's a floor-sitter. It's not like I don't offer her sofa space. I swear) and flips through headshots. These are headshots that have made their way to the "last chance" stack.

This means they're either going to be tossed out our stored with "folks whose work I know and generally like" even if I don't know their work because they have some sort of something that makes 'em a keeper.

So, as Julie the Rockstar Intern flips through the headshots, she holds one up and I shrug. I say, "Up to you. I can take 'em or leave 'em." Then she looks at the actor's resumé and mentions some reason I might need them in my files. "She speaks Russian." "He rides a unicycle." "She has a twin."

And my answer, at a certain point (usually when I've just glazed over and decided I can't take it anymore... I'm so OVER deciding who should stay in the files and who should hit the trash), becomes, "Yeah, so do I."

So, this is my new thing that I've been saying lately.

I don't know why I find this amusing. It really isn't. Go read Brendan's Laws of Life. Read 'em all (several posts. All funny). He wants more than 11 readers. Yeah, so do I.

*snork*

No. I don't know why it's funny either. It just is. To me.

Posted by bonnie at 11:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 20, 2007

"Toe thumb! Toe thumb! Toe thumb!"

So, I'm sitting on the sofa doing showcase stuff.

Keith says something sassy.

I threaten the same torture we offer the cats. (This would be a spritz from the water bottle.) Of course, I happen to shoot a little stream of water onto Keith's head from afar. He is up and out of his chair in a heartbeat.

"Oh, okay!" he says, as he's running over to start kissing on me, sitting on me, wrestling, playing.

As he plops down, he lands on the sofa cushion under which my left foot is lodged. My big toe is folded under and his weight is causing, um, pain. But we're playing and giggling and flirting and I can't find my WORDS.

So, I scream out, "Toe thumb! Toe thumb! Toe thumb!" (Of course, certain that he'll understand I mean "big toe knuckle" and shift his weight.)

When I finally find my words (in my head), I am giggling fiercely. I point at my big toe knuckle and say, "Toe thumb!" as if he should GET THAT.

And by now we are both laughing so hard that the tears stream down our faces. Unable to catch my breath, I can't answer his question: "Toe thumb?" He keeps repeating that question, because he doesn't know what a Toe Thumb is.

Well of course he doesn't. There is no such thing!! I CAN'T FIND MY WORDS!!!!!!! (The giggles continue.)

That is all.

Posted by bonnie at 7:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 8, 2007

Morbid Conversation

So, Keith and I were talking last night and I was holding my eye (twitch) and removing crusty Kleenex from my nose (bleed) and I said,

Just promise me, honey, that when I die, you'll keep up my MySpace page.

And he says, "Oh, of course! I'll put up a photo of your tombstone."

Awesome.

Posted by bonnie at 11:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 22, 2006

Snow Funnies

Okay, so there's no snow here (although it is raining today) and Quinn is fascinated by the fact that the average low temperature in Los Angeles is higher than the current high in his town, but I just got these Calvins from Tony and they're cute, so I'm posting 'em here (I'm not into the email forward thingy).

Click any to enlarge. They're dang cute and worth the click. Promise.

Final thoughts: Identity is a good concept, but has sucky execution. Thwok has nearly perfected her ninja roll. Toasting you all with NyQuil is not as fun as toasting you all with something else.

Posted by bonnie at 8:58 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 24, 2006

Soooo Spoooooooky

Love the Halloween promotion over at Actors Access.

Soooo Spoooooooky! Heeeeeeee!

Posted by bonnie at 7:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 19, 2006

Hmm.

I've never watched the show, so I'll have to take this quiz's word for it. (Nabbed from Tara the Great.)

Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You?

You are Christina Yang. You are incredibly determined and very blunt... yet somehow very likable
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I am mad at my TiVo. It taped so much stuff for me that it started bumping shows off. Dammit! I had saved some really great stuff just to have when I was bored and needed something fun to watch. All gone now. Dammit. I know it's my fault for having tried to grab all of the first episodes of the new shows and stuff (and having had like no time to watch anything lately), but dangit!! Grr.

Oh, in GOOD news, apparently I won KiKi's 2006 Lindsay Firth Jam Out with Your Clam Out Competition. I am honored. Truly. I have so many people to thank. So much of my life has led to this point, one at which I have been able to come up with so cheeky a phrase as to win this prestigious award. I can only hope to be a contender again next year. *sniffle*

Posted by bonnie at 11:22 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

September 16, 2006

New Favorite Commercial

Seriously. This has to be a joke.

I mean, it's probably a decent idea. You put your bra on this thing that helps it keep its shape in the wash. Okay. Fine. (Um, but doesn't your bra GET its shape from your hooters? Yeah... mine does. But anyway....) The BEST part of the commercial is the part where they show the different CUP SIZES for this contraption.

There's B-cup (above) all the way to D-cup (below). (Sorry, A-cuppers. You get no Bra Smart to help you.)

And, of course, I know you want to watch it now for yourself, right? Hee!

Posted by bonnie at 5:19 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

September 4, 2006

Keith's Dream

So, I come to bed (after turning in my column) at 4:30am and Keith wakes up to tell me about a dream he just had.

Seems he was riding a motorcycle but didn't have a helmet.

So he had Archie riding on the handlebars.

That way, Archie could swat away any bugs that were headed toward Keith's face as he drove.

There was theme music.

How cute is it that my husband dreams in buddy movies? And that his buddy is our cat?

Posted by bonnie at 10:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 28, 2006

Coming Clean

I think it's time I set the record straight.

I grew up believing that Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees were the original recording artists of songs like "With A Little Help From My Friends," "Getting Better," "Good Morning, Good Morning," "Polythene Pam/She Came In Through The Bathroom Window," and "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight." It is all the doing of the 1978 feature film CLASSIC Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. (Notice I did not say "fault".)

(Further, I grew up believing that The Beatles covered songs like George Burns' "Fixing A Hole," Steve Martin's "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," Alice Cooper's "Because," Earth Wind and Fire's "Got To Get You Into My Life," Billy Preston's "Get Back," and the brilliant Aerosmith's "Come Together.")

None of this makes me a bad person.

And I still think Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is one of the best movies ever.

Edit: Oh, and I should probably mention that I didn't hear "Hey Jude" until around 1987 and, until around that time as well, I thought Siouxsie and the Banshees originated "Dear Prudence."

Posted by bonnie at 6:27 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 20, 2006

Compare and Contrast

Deep thoughts while I'm doing the "brain work" behind this week's column...

This isn't news. Everyone says Bruce Vilanch resembles a Fraggle. But check this out.

Separated at birth, no? (That's Sally Struthers, BTW.)

Okay, and I've realized that Ant and Mario Cantone are totally the same guy.

(Seriously. Listen to them with your eyes closed.)

But far more disturbing, in my search for these images was this:

These photos were taken in 2004 and 2006. STEP AWAY FROM THE BOTOX, ANT. Wow.

*shudder*

Posted by bonnie at 1:26 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 19, 2006

Motivator

This is bitchin'.

Click here to make your own.

I like this post much better than that bitchy, geeky last one.

I'm sleepy.

Posted by bonnie at 6:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 15, 2006

T-Minus 67 Hours

It's almost time.

Snakes on a Plane opens in Santa Monica in just 67 hours. I'm so excited.

And why is that? I mean, clearly, this movie is going to SUCK.

(I mean, how could it not?)

But you have to go, right?

It's a flippin' MOMENT in history we're witnessing.

And EVERYONE will talk about where they were the first time they saw the film that WILL BE the next Rocky Horror Picture Show.

(Hell, there's already toast.)

They've even been doing a terrorism cross-promotion thingy on CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC since last week!

The fans have already created a sequel.

(Or two.)

EVERYONE will be talking about this amazing film. Including me.

The lovelies Susan and Rose will be joining us on the Promenade for the 10pm screening Thursday. (Feel free to join us if there are still tix, which as of this posting there are.)

We shall start out at Barney's Beanery or some other alcohol-serving establishment within staggering walking distance of the theater.

I couldn't be more excited if I were Samuel L. Jackson himself*.

*Serious epiphany post to come about how much like SLJ I am and how Babes McPhee made me realize that on Saturday.

Assorted sources for the above-displayed brilliant artwork (in no proper order): here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and especially here.

Posted by bonnie at 3:00 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

August 5, 2006

Obsession

Sometimes Stumble Upon sends me to some great places.

Watch this video of an obsessed cat. Best part might possibly be when the son (I'm guessing) tells the mom (who is figuring they'll have a huge water bill), "Hush! I'm gonna put this on the web." Heeeeee!

Posted by bonnie at 4:17 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 29, 2006

*giggle*

(source)

Posted by bonnie at 8:35 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

July 26, 2006

Best Campaign Slogan Ever

Just saw an ad for Phil Angelides, who is challenging The Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger for governor.

Phil Angelides: A leader, not an actor.

Oh, SNAP!

Posted by bonnie at 1:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 16, 2006

Fun With I-Rons

I was just about to change the "headline" on my MySpace profile to say: Potato-free since June 26th when I realized that's not entirely true.

Yes, I decided to go off potatoes while we were at our spa vacation, and I've been very very good. But the combination of the facts that I cannot have alcohol made from grain, my favorite cocktail is the vodka gimlet, and Tana's Michael loves me led to delicious potato vodka beverages for my birthday.

But I'm still officially off potatoes. I'm calling that "good," dammit. Irony is fun like that.

PS--New favorite summer show: World Series of Pop Culture. Good stuff!

Posted by bonnie at 12:42 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 6, 2006

'tis the Season!

This is classic. Pretty much the definition of cray-cray. I can only hope that the photos do it justice.

Okay, so we leave tonight for our walk and I notice that our neighbor has put some weird little doll thing up against her window. It's either crying or playing hide-and-seek or simply creeping me out in some way.

Click for full effect.

I'm in shock, as I don't really understand why this thing is here... but neighborlady has lots of crap on the patio, so I guess it could just be one of those things. (I seem to have a karmic path that puts me near neighbors who have the need to store broken wicker furniture and dead plants in abundance on our shared patio area.)

Okay, so I ask Keith as we leave the garden area, "What is that doll ABOUT?!? What is she doing with that?!?" Keith says, "Maybe she's preparing for Halloween." I say, "It's too early for Halloween!" To which Keith replies, "Well, it's never too early for cray-zee."

Excellent point from my beloved.

PS--Breakdown for three short films went out today. Breakdown for a play goes out Friday. Holy bejeebus, I'm a busy bee. Woo! I am technically about six hours behind on all obligations thus far, but I think that's still considered acceptable, considering the pace at which I usually deliver and the expectations "normal" people seem to have.

PPS--Is the rule at MySpace that you should change your photo like every other day or something? Are we supposed to ignore all bulletins? I'm really having trouble keeping up with the rules over there.

HAPPY MERCURY RETROGRADE, Y'ALL!

Posted by bonnie at 12:52 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

June 23, 2006

I have SO much to blog about!

And like NO time.

So, here's this, which the lovely and talented Kathryn Lyn posted in my comments area at the MySpace place.

Brilliant.

You know how I loves me some Snakes on a MoFo Plane.

Posted by bonnie at 1:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 11, 2006

*giggle*

This is funny. Click on the image to get the full experience (with pop-ups that explain why each actor landed where on the Full House Career Pyramid. Hee!

Reminder: tomorrow is Chad's 12 of 12 photo day. Finally, I have some exciting stuff going on during the appointed day. Hee! Fun stuff! Bonus photo this month is one taken at the same exact moment, all around the world (7am PDT). Ooooh! Between this and the collective creative energy of the 14 Day Screenplay Challenge, you'd think the planets were surely trying to align. Still on page 18 over here, but today is column and screenplay day... then I schedule callbacks for Salvation, Texas. Yippee!

Posted by bonnie at 1:54 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

April 28, 2006

Best Movie EVER

Okay, actually this was more than the best movie ever. It was like the best late morning/early afternoon date ever. But first the important part: THE BEST MOVIE EVER! (That'd be Stick It! Duh.) NOTE: SPOILER-FILLED POST (you've been warned).

Now, you know I've been looking forward to this movie for a while now. Def Jam Becca MC, KiKi Longpost, and Babes McPhee and I have all been talking about the greatness that we knew this movie would be. And being the best movie ever, it did not disappoint. Like a Christian kid on December 24th, I went to bed early (read: 6am) so that I could get up at the earliest possible moment after Santa had delivered my goodies (read: 10am, to get goin' for the 11:10am showing at the Promenade) and begin tearing through the wrapping paper.

Keith said, "Wake up! Time for your movie." I replied, "This is not just a movie. This is the beginning of my professional teenage gymnastics career." But wait... first there were previews (and really cool commercials).

Did you know that TLC is running a brilliant series of ads that depict life lessons such as the importance of NOT becoming the Crazy Cat Lady, why you should read instructions before using power tools, and how merlot and email don't mix? (Note: I've just realized that movie theatres are like the only place to see commercials anymore, what with TiVo and all. Hmm.) You can even order these figurines (like the one above) or customize them online like I did, below (seriously. That little one below. Click it. Read it. It's so me). Coolest part, in the Crazy Cat Lady PSA they screened before the movie, is that she leaves to go on a date and says, "Okay, you're in charge," to one of the cats. I so totally do that to whichever cat I see last, as we leave the house. Heh.

Okay, so there was also a really great commercial for Coca-Cola (woo) that must've cost a bazillion dollars. This kid is riding his bike through the city streets during an incredibly intense and beautiful parade of many eras and worlds. It's a gorgeous fantasy world that exists as long as he's drinking his Coke. Rockstar. Up my stock, kids. Thanks.

Oh, and before we go into the review of THE BEST MOVIE EVER (Are you totally feeling like you're sitting through trailers for this review? I am.), let me just say that in addition to the must-see Wordplay about which I blogged yesterday, now there's The Heart of the Game. Yup. It's now the documentary time of year for my moviegoing pleasure. I'm in. Totally.

Now, for greatness.

You've been to the movie's site, so you know the story. Hell, you've seen Bring It On, so you know the story. Well, sort of. Seems the film's writer/director (Jessica Bendinger--love that name, like she's a bending-er, like all of these flippy kids she writes about) is also making a political statement about the arcane rules of judging in the sport of elite gymnastics. She does it quite effectively, too.

But not as effectively as she writes coolass lingo. Holy hell, that's some great stuffs. My favorites:

*Dude! Why you always gotta bite my moment? It tastes good?--Poot, when Frank marshes his mellow or kills his buzz
*Well if it isn't Pariah Carey.--Joanne, upon seeing Haley's unwelcome return to the gym (BTW, I totally think we need to just refer to Mimi as Pariah from here on out.)
*Come here, rebel without applause.--Coach Vick to Haley, on one of many of her walk-off-in-disgust attempts
*I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant.--Haley about how positive she is she'll nail a particular trick
*(Q): What's a corsage? (A): It's the universal symbol for "whipped."--exchange between Poot and Frank, when facing a prom purchase (No, we don't get to go to prom in this movie, but we do brilliantly, gorgeously, gloriously shop for it.)
*(Insult): Diva! (Comeback): Dee-vil!--our heroes upon entering the gym before Nationals

Oh, but it's not just the quips I love!

No ma'am! It's also the New Miss Malaprop on the block! Rock it. This girl has the most lazily written character (she's so NOT the juicy wonderful villain we got to know and love in Bring It On or any other decent movie of its ilk), but it's totally worth falling in love with her just for the malaprops. Wow! Greatness. Just a sampling:

*If you do that, I will have a cardio-vasectomy!
*Can we get rid of the long-sleeved leos? We have a constitutional right to bare arms.
*I earned my spots. I'm practically a Dalmatian!
*I don't appreciate your instimulation.
*You got a GED? What does drunk driving have to do with school?

I mean, COME! ON! That shit is OUTSTANDING!

I predict lots of happy fun drugged-up movie-goers really enjoying the phenomenal prescription drug dream sequence and super-imposed bodies flipping and tricking simultaneously. The fun soundtrack includes a song entitled "I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me." The sense of humor throughout this whole film is just rockstar. It never takes itself seriously, even when it has its "O Captain, My Captain" moment featuring my favorite flipper: Tarah Paige.

I cast Tarah as Cupid in Still of the Night last year. She's amazing. Her brastrap moment is only one of a few really unforgettable, scene-stealing offerings. That so rocks. Well done, cutie! You GO!

Other favorite items include Polly Holiday (I feel shame that I was certain she had died not too long ago) delivering a great line: "There are a lot of great people who had jerks for parents. We've gotta stick together;" and the Buttahara, probably my new favorite trick.

In the "we're going to nail the point of this movie home" line, Coach says, "Floor it." Keith leans over to me and says, "I thought the movie was called 'Stick it,'" to which I reply, "This movie is all about the subtlety." Keith then snorked. Luckily, there were only a dozen of us in the theatre, so I don't think many people heard.

As we left the theatre, glowing with delight (okay, maybe that was just me), we crossed paths with the "noted" Nolé Marin from ANTM, sans puppydog-on-princess-pillow.

And then we were given free samples of the new Dr Pepper Berries & Cream flavor. My review of that? The creamy stuff is really amazing... and the berry stuff is probably just kind of normal for the nectar-of-the-gods that is Dr Pepper... but there's some little aftertaste. Or perhaps it's just that I don't drink soda, so it's always a big trip for my tastebuds. Not sure.

Finally, after a quick stop into the bookstore for two books that should prep me very well for my big meeting next week (bought on a gift card I'm FINALLY redeeming, even though it was given to me almost a year ago as a thank you for a casting gig), we crossed Wilshire in front of the great Robert LaSardo, whom I wanted to cast in the above-mentioned Tarah Paige movie last year (but he was too busy with a soap opera gig). Anyway, big fan (me). And a great guy (he).

I'm still basking in the afterglow that was my morning with Stick It. I am certain that I will remain inspired to be the best professional teenage gymnast I can possibly be. Training began today. My rips have rips!

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April 23, 2006

Gaping Void

Hey... you loved that comic about "nothing to say," right?

Well, go visit the brilliant Hugh MacLeod here and tell him how much he rocks. Seriously.

Big thanks to rattus rattus for the connection!

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April 13, 2006

Logic

If you're married to a Keith, this conversation won't surprise you.

Keith (upon coming home from the market with a gallon of milk; more milk than we'll be able to consume before it spoils, typically): It was a dollar cheaper than the half-gallon size.

Me: We'll never be able to finish that whole thing!

Keith (pulling a large package of cookies from another bag, triumphantly): Ah! That's why I bought cookies!

Me: To save a dollar on the milk?

Keith (deer-in-headlights look... then): Uh-huh! That's my logic and I'm stickin' to it!

No. Comment.

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March 31, 2006

Real Movie Posters. Real.

It's funny. Way.

Truth in advertising... movie poster style.

Happy Friday!

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January 28, 2006

Happy Birthday, Everybody

There are two days of the year on which the MOST people I know were born. One of them is 1/28. The other is 9/11. Seriously. Eight of my good friends share today as a birthday. Six friends share 9/11 (with another five sharing 9/12). Wow. Lots of numerological karma, having this many friends with the same b'day, wouldn't you say?

Okay, so happy birthday to all of you! Wish I could play with everyone.

Now, on to the tagging I got from the greatness that is Nini.

While I have a list of "Little Known Facts at the bonsite (which was way fun to go back through, since I created the list in 1997 and have only updated it a few times since), I still am having trouble coming up with My Five Weirdest Habits, which is what Nini has challenged me to do. I mean, how many of my "things" are habits and how many are OCD rituals? Well... I'll do my best.

1. I am incapable of turning a volume that is measured in numbers up or down to any increment other than five or zero. If my car stereo's volume is on 38, I know Keith was driving last, as I can only have it on 35 or 40. Period.

2. I rewrite lists. This is actually how my OCD was first suspected (by a teacher in high school). I was rewriting a list in Spanish class and my teacher sat me down for a heart-to-heart about rituals and habits and phobias. It was quite revealing. I still rewrite my lists, but not as often as I used to, since the SixHundy takes care of most of my list-making anymore.

3.

4. I cannot make a list with item number three included. Blame somesuch. It is said the "There Is NEVER a Three" rule came from the mis-remembering of a Monty Python sketch, but I've never watched Monty Python, so I can't say for sure. Whether it was supposed to be number six or number three or whatever, it has stuck as number three with my group of online friends, and it is now something that I can't NOT do.

5. Doors must be left all the way open or all the way closed. Period. A door left "ajar" or open but not all the way up against the wall behind it is somehow offensive, out of order, going to cause me stress, or create chaos in my life in some way. Want to drive me crazy? Come over, open all of my cabinets, leave all doors half-open, and put your purse or backpack on the floor (bad feng shui). I will need a valium.

6. When I bowl (which I rarely do anymore), I sing (in my head), "Mary had a little lamb," as I approach the release line. I took bowling as a phys ed in college (woo hoo) and this was the tactic taught by our instructor. My average was around 120. I liked that class.

Next, a wonderful link that was shared by the greatness that is Tony on the 24th. Only wish I'd opened the email then. But how can you know there's brilliance in the inbox? It's like the time I let a phone message go unanswered and later learned I had been cast in the "Deadbeat Club" music video, but missed it, since I figured Eric was just calling to invite me to his party that weekend. Ugh. That's what you get, busy girl!

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January 21, 2006

You So Got It Wrong

CNN just announced that Grand Magazine has named its "sexiest celebrity grandfather of the year."

Who beat out sexy seniors Paul Newman, Harrison Ford, and Robert Redford?

Yup. Tony Danza.

So, it would seem that "ability to judge what is sexy" is the first thing to go. *shudder*

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January 19, 2006

*giggle*

Lookee what Keith made for me.

*giggle*

Big day in casting. Just signed on to cast a feature shooting in NY. Brings total feature film casting gigs for the first half of 2006 to FOUR. And, passed yet another casting gig off to my sis. Yup. Big day. I need a nap.

Oh, and thanks, folks, for the head's up on comments being wonky. I've changed some settings. Please try to comment now, if'n you please.

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January 18, 2006

B/c V-day Is Coming...

I defer to the greatness that is Chip on how to celebrate correctly.

Click here to do yourself (*giggle*).

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I LOVE So Much!!

So, I've spent two solid hours importing my RSS feed links (which were categorized as "RSS feeds" and "Lazy RSS feeds"), plus my good ol' fashioned non-feed blog links and links to things I would NEVER bookmark as feed-food (until NOW, baby) into the greatness that is Rojo. I am so so so so so so so so so happy already. LOVES me some Rojo! It is my new TiVo. Thank you, Beffers!!!!!

And then, the greatness that is Tony emails me a link to this: Seth Green as Chris Griffin reading from Star Jones' new book on the Adam Carolla show. Holy Hell, that's some funny stuff. Wow. I'm just more in love every minute today.

Spent the morning listing and re-listing my categories and subcategories for the new home office "system" (and I cannot WAIT to get this project off the ground), plus fielding calls and emails from producers in--get this--England and NY (plus FOUR more in LA) about upcoming casting needs. AND I officially handed off a project I don't have time for to another amazing casting director, my sister Deb.

Speaking of Deb, it is now time to go. Showcase* production meeting, Keith's audition, then early dinner with sis at the Tana's. Awesome. Lobster time, baby!

* = disclosure to come. Stand by.

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January 10, 2006

Because Sometimes There Are No Words

Seriously. Visit the time suck that is Bad Tattoos.

Thanks to the 15-Minute Hipster for the tip.

And yes, I'm secretly relieved that none of the tattoos *I've* (ahem) seen in person made it to that site. Yet. *giggle*

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December 25, 2005

Ho Ho Ho

Being a narcissist, I have a Google Alert set up for my name. This came across on Friday.

Christmas cravings
Atlanta Journal Constitution (subscription) - GA,USA
... "We've all had so much to do that no one has stopped to think about Christmas," said Bonnie Gillespie, a 31-year-old press officer for the American Red Cross. ...

The fact this ran in the AJC (my hometown rag) is going to make everyone I know from back home think two things:
1. Bonnie gave up that silly Hollywood thing and did something important with her life.
2. That hussy is lying about her age.

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November 17, 2005

Thwok's Favorite Toy

Thwok's new favorite toy is my padded emery board.

She stole it from my desk yesterday and began picking it up (Yes, she stands on her back paws and uses her front paws like a squirrel does.), tossing it into the air, and then chasing it down as it landed. Then she would grab it between her two front paws and begin kicking at it with her back paws until she flipped it across the room with one too-swift kick, running again to chase it down and punish it for getting away from her.

We've seen her walking around the house with it between her teeth, watched her wrestle with it, and enjoyed the giggles as she tosses it into a wall from which it bounces back and sails right back at her like a boomerang.

She is easily amused (as are we).

*sigh*

Animals are cool.

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October 22, 2005

Because It's So Funny

I shall share this post from the wonderousness that is Ditto at CAO.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other asks, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Yeah, I know... you've seen some of 'em before... but MAN, there's some good stuff in there! *snork*

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October 18, 2005

So Easily Amused

Thwok has a new favorite toy.

Packing peanuts.

See, Keith went to our distributor's warehouse today and picked up a box of "damaged returns" (which is silly, b/c they aren't really *damaged* as much as smudged or handled in some way that makes them no longer "sell as new" material), in case we'd like to use the books for giveaways or whatever.

Box has assorted packing peanuts in it, and just enough of a hole in the top for the silver munkey to snake her paw inside and pull out said peanuts and play, play, play, play, play.

I am amused at how she is amused. The elder kitties are just so glad the thunder has stopped. They did not like that. I, on the other hand, LOVED IT, especially when it was so loud (just before the rain began) that the entire schoolyard filled with children across the street erupted in high-pitched screams of terror and excitement. Hee hee hee.

So easily amused.

PS--next entry will be my 888th at SpyNotebook.org. Cool, eh?

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October 4, 2005

Don't Judge Me!

Is it wrong?

Is it wrong that I open all of the semi-easily-opened pistachios and leave the too-tightly-encased ones for Keith?

I mean, I am wrist-down dainty.

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September 4, 2005

Sunday Morning Search Party

Haven't done a search party in awhile, and I'm already ahead of myself in my To Do List this weekend (amazing), so let's have some fun and analyze the words and phrases that brought people here recently.

One on One: Camille Mana: of course! My friend Camille (from Wolfesden days and in Acting Qs) is a series regular now! Woo damn hoo!

Trashelle funny: yes, yes she is. Often in the way that Tara Reid funny or Anna Nicole Smith funny. Although, I must say that Katie out-Trashelled Trashelle last week on Kill Reality. Man, that show was such a great idea!

Bonnie pink: I like that one!

Blake Robbins: The OC: yes, my writing partner booked a recurring character on The OC but I can't tell you what he does. Just know, if you've seen him on everyothershowlately you know what his characters always do. *evil grin*

Tru-Fan Eliza: I think I got on their radar from casting the amazing Shawn Reaves as Kliner in Chandler Hall, but there has been so much turnover in that cast that I'm afraid to ask if he's been shooting lately.

Scout Taylor-Compton MISSING: yeah, a big spike in traffic over that one, as it seemed my blog was the only thing leading people to info, early on in her missing days, before the family went public. What's odd is that my blog drew the attention of (and led to phone calls from) the media... and lots of it. When the NY Daily News calls... well... it's just a little surreal.

girls upset tummy: aww. I have no advice for such. I got some advice for mine, but little of it was gluten-free, and I'd settle for an upset tummy over a migraine any day!

that hot dress: well, if it's one I've had on my bod, it MUST be this one. I mean... come ON! Hot, yo?

Kathy Griffin: ew! Don't look here for her (well, except above, I guess). Deb, I think I thought of someone who elicits in me the Renée Zellweger response you have. It's Kathy "Botox" Griffin. *shudder* (Oh, and upon looking over RZ's IMDB, I have actually seen FOUR movies she was in, but in two of them, she only had one forgettable scene each, so yeah, I guess I really only have seen two of HER movies. Ironic to see the most recent title, considering our Friday night experience.)

Definition: Work In Progress: that's me, baby. That's me.

PS--My nails are so long that I can't type without fat-fingering everything lately. Gluten-free eating has proven sooooo healthy for me. Love it!

PSS--My confidentiality and non-disclosure agreement with FOX is still in place from my Paradise Hotel days, so I can't say much, but OMG are the producers LYING in their interviews during Paradise Hotel Revealed on the FOX Reality Channel. Holy bejeebus, are they lying their arses off!! I'll tell you specifically where around May 2006, when I won't get sued for doing so.

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