March 21, 2010
Conversation in the Gillespie-Johnson Household
(while watching Life on The Discovery Channel).
Me: I wish your son were here, so I could stay up on things they teach you at that age.
Me: Because clearly, there's a lot of stuff that I either never learned in public school or am forgetting.
Me: Y'know, it's only gonna get worse!
Keith: I don't mind.
Me: Of course YOU don't mind! You can get away with more stuff!
(Really, it's not the turning 40 that's weird. It's the things I keep learning I never knew about stuff.)
October 20, 2009
Most ridiculous "Hollywood Insider" spam/scam email ever!
Note: Names/email addresses/links edited to protect the weirdos. Anytime you see something in brackets, that's my edit. :)
From: [superhero-like title plus first name @ website they want me to visit.com]
Date: October 20, 2009 9:06:34 AM PDT
To: Hollywood Private List [my email address followed that "exclusive" bait]
Subject: RE: yeah but worth more........................................................................... [my email address at the end of this long line of dots in the subject line]
Thnx [superhero-like title plus first name of the other guy]!
No, I dont know [my email address] Should I? Do you?
I know, I know, I know! We are ready to "sell out". We simply need the money and we don't want to bring in investors for this particular project so we gotta do what we gotta do!
We are trying to hold out for the mid 5-digit deal on the table but to be honest if someone wanted to close a deal within the next week we would probably crumble for a lot less and let it go for $15k for both - At least that is what my wife agrees to.
The $40k deal is on the books for late November but our birdie at their office says they would pay $60k for the pair if we would accept 6 mothly payments of $5k and then 1 year equal monthly payments of $2500 for the balance ($30k) and also that they would jump to close a deal like that asap but we need more cash than $5k and sooner so it's not going to work for that deal.
Sux to let the pair go for so cheap but it is what it is... we need more capital to finish the buildout of [website they want me to visit.com] (btw we closed Hollywoods biggest drunk lush floozie to be our flagship "bad girl" on the service.)
If you know any other "Hollywood" insiders that have the money and smarts to recognize the value here please let me know or forward my contact info to them for me. (You already know I will take care of you).
I will be back from the set Saturday and I will give you a call then. Tell your sister "sup sup" and smack your brother upside his head for me.
Talk to you soon!
Gimme a call on my google voice number if you need to (626-[555-5555])
[superhero-like title plus first name]
[superhero-like title plus first name @ website they want me to visit.com]
From: [normal name; silly gmail address]
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:36 PM
To: [superhero-like title plus first name @ website they want me to visit.com]
Subject: RE: yeah but worth more
Yeah... thats right... you know I have a pretty tight contact list... I will flow out a quick msg and also make a couple calls to the big-wig "you-know-who's" over at "you-know-where". No need to "green" me on it... unless of course my hollywood insider list generates some super deal... then by all means let the "green thnx" flow brutha!
I still can't beleive your letting them go! You DO have all the stats on movie $'s generated from Superhero movies and all the comic books getting turned into film right? BILLION$$$!!! I think if you sit on it you will get what its worth within a couple years at most. You just have to wait for the Hollywood economy to turn around and the cheapos start writing checks again without anything other than hunches. If you could wait I know those will be easy to clsoe for 6 figures... no doubt. Just my $0.01!!!!
What are the deals you have cookn now? Maybe I will take em off your needy little hands and flip em for some roi depending... I don't got 2much to throw around but flow me some numbers bruddah.
You back in town yet? When will you be home? Hit me up.
Do you know who [my email address] is?
[this guy's initials]
From: [superhero-like title plus first name @ website they want me to visit.com]
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 6:36 PM
To: [normal name; silly gmail address]
Subject: RE: yeah but worth more
Yes Sir... it is true.
We figure it will be an easy set to sell and we need the dollars to inject into our [website they want me to visit.com] project. It picked up quite a bit of steam on the underground and we secured a couple high profile A-Listers so we need to ramp up the launch dates which means more programmers which means more cashola.
Could you slip in the word to your film underground?
I will send a little "green thnx" your way of course.
Your true underground Hollywood Geek Playa,
[superhero-like title plus first name]
From: [normal name; silly gmail address]
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:36 PM
To: [superhero-like title plus first name @ website they want me to visit.com]
Subject: RE: yeah but worth more
Is it true? R u selling [website they want me to visit.com] AND [website they want me to visit.com]?
I thought you were going to do the animated comic strip video thing with those?!
I heard it from one of my animation guys ([guy's initials]) and he was all bummed out cuz he said you told him you would let him do a couple of the sketches.
Anyhow... lemme know wussup!
Mr. [normal first name. Yes, he calls himself "Mr. HisFirstName," here]
Gosh, it's all so underground and exclusive. I should write back, right?
God bless the Internets.
comments from the Facebook:
Why was it again that you encourage(d) people to use Bcc in all correspondence?
October 20, 2009 at 11:41am · LikeUnlike ·
Thx for amusing my day ;-}
October 20, 2009 at 11:42am · LikeUnlike ·
oh. my. goodness.
you better jump on this, Bonnie. Very "exclusive" indeed.
October 20, 2009 at 11:46am · LikeUnlike ·
It really could be the chance of a lifetime. I really should click on the links to the sites they want me to visit and also write back AND CALL to get in on this opportunity. I mean... easy money, right?
October 20, 2009 at 11:48am · LikeUnlike ·
Yeah...in ENGLISH please...wait no never mind!
October 20, 2009 at 11:49am · LikeUnlike ·
But, guys! Didn't you see?
They "closed Hollywoods biggest drunk lush floozie to be our flagship 'bad girl' on the service." That's HUGE!
October 20, 2009 at 11:51am · LikeUnlike ·
How do they NOT know who [your email address] is?? DOH!
October 20, 2009 at 11:52am · LikeUnlike ·
Hope you don't mind Bonnie
In the interest of the well informed public I regifted your post
October 20, 2009 at 11:58am · LikeUnlike ·
You'll probably get lots of little parting gifts (in your compter) for clicking on those links, too.
This is almost as funny as the Nigerian scams.
October 20, 2009 at 12:00pm · LikeUnlike ·
Oh! How did I miss that! OK...I'm in!! Hahahahahaha!
October 20, 2009 at 12:00pm · LikeUnlike ·
Oh, worry not, Hal. I clicked on NOTHING. Just did a nice fun "select all, copy, paste" and the edited out the specifics. Tempting, tempting, especially with such "HOT"-looking website names. ;) But, no.
And Mark, have at it. :) Spread the good word. This could be the DEAL of the century! We all should get in on it and make some money off those Hollywood fatcats. No... they called 'em "cheapos." Right.
October 20, 2009 at 12:04pm · LikeUnlike ·
And, I was correct. Your response was most amusing. Thanks.
October 20, 2009 at 12:16pm · LikeUnlike ·
hmmm i hear the Hollywood sign is still for sale too!!
October 20, 2009 at 12:45pm · LikeUnlike ·
sup, sup and smack your brother upside the head.
October 20, 2009 at 1:17pm · LikeUnlike ·
Ugh. This one is also troubling, but for entirely different reasons: http://www.newenglandfilm.com/node/29957
October 20, 2009 at 1:19pm · LikeUnlike ·
October 20, 2009 at 2:09pm · LikeUnlike ·
Marie Woiteshek Watkins
Wow. Why would anyone with a computer and basic search skills pay someone else $125 to do bulk mail? PT Barnum was right.
October 20, 2009 at 2:30pm · LikeUnlike ·
I need a shower.
October 20, 2009 at 2:36pm · LikeUnlike ·
Matthew Corbett Davis
Hey Bonnie I made $395,000 yesterday licking envelopes from home. Let me show you how! Haha
October 20, 2009 at 5:02pm · LikeUnlike ·
I saw an ad in the back of a publishing industry newsletter about earning passive income from home... just send $3 cash S&H plus a SASE to... (And why is $3 cash needed for S&H if I'm already providing the SASE on this thing?) ...and the best part was that this guy had taken out SIX ads in this newsletter, each with a slightly different hook.
And his were the ONLY ads in the back of this newsletter. I laughed. :)
October 20, 2009 at 5:23pm · LikeUnlike ·
September 23, 2008
Riddle Me This
Okay, so here's the chronology. There will be an opinion poll at the close of this entry. I look forward to your feedback. I'm stumped.
Our downstairs neighbor Bob gets carted off in an ambulance. (This happens more and more frequently lately. He's a really cool guy that still owns every newspaper he's ever touched--all stacked in his apartment catty-corner below ours--and he's been getting less and less stable with his health over the years. At first, he'd go in about twice a year on a gurney. Now, it's up to about once every six weeks and his grandson has been living with him for the past two years or so. He's on Meals on Wheels and he hangs out in his wheelchair with his mobile oxygen tank when he wants to visit with neighbors outside. Very cool guy. But his health is going.)
So, it's no big shock when fire/rescue comes and does the usual. Except that within 20 minutes of his departure, there's an overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke entering our apartment. I smell it (I have a VERY sensitive sense of smell, unfortunately) and even Keith smells it (he does NOT). "Hmm," I say. And I begin to wonder if it's Bob's grandson lighting up now that Bob and his oxygen tank are out of the apartment or if it's our new neighbor (also catty-corner below us, but farther into the center of the building) with her weekend guests over, sitting out on the patio enjoying smokes with cocktails (something we witnessed the past two weekends since she's moved in, although the smell never wafted into our digs before).
No biggie. It'll go away soon, I figure. Keep on workin'.
So then Keith and I go to the gym for a late swim. We come home and Bob's grandson is being brought home to drop off Bob's bag of belongings from when he was carted away and is going in to pick up an overnight bag while his friend waits in the driveway. They arrive right as we return from the gym. So, there's very low likelihood that the smoke was Bob's grandson's, since he has probably been with Bob all evening, not just during the window during which we worked out at the gym. Hmm. Okay. So it's probably the new neighbor girl. No biggie. It's not smelling now. Probably over with.
Keith is at gaming. I've gotten showcase work and my columns done and am now spending a little time on my new addiction (the Facebook), learning that Scramble is more like Boggle than Scrabble, but either way it's awesome and really fun.
The cigarette smoke smell starts up again. I light a candle to try and cut the smell. I do my Wii Fit and Dance Dance Revolution, but there's difficulty because of this tickle at the back of my throat when I breathe harder. I play Scramble on Facebook 'til all hours of the night. The smell never goes away. Even when I come to bed (after 4:30am), I can smell it. It's in our walls, I'm afraid. I am choking as I try to sleep. It's bad. Bleh.
Keith gets out of bed and I ask if he can smell it. "No." Of course not. He can't smell anything (even though he could the very first time it happened). It's actually distracting me from sleep. This is not good.
But when I get out of bed a couple of hours after Keith does and get to work on showcase stuff, I realize the smell is gone and think, "Okay, so it is Bob's grandson or it is the new neighbor girl or maybe it's even a new habit taken up by our super-healthy marathon next-door neighbor, although I highly doubt that. Maybe it's an across-the-way neighbor and it's just time to close the windows on the north side of the apartment," but since the smell is gone I'm not too worried about it. Maybe it's all over.
Keith says to let him know as soon as I smell it again and he'll check outside to see if he can tell where it's coming from. Not that we'll ask anyone to stop smoking in their own home, of course! But we'll be able to close a window or ask them to close theirs or something, if it's going to be obnoxious.
We're home from the showcase meeting and the smell is still gone. I am very happy. I begin to check email and eat a little dinner when... yup. It starts up again.
Note: I am always sitting at my desk when the smell starts up. But once I smell it, seated there, it's something I can smell in the bedroom too (also against the same neighbor's wall of the building, if that makes a difference). But it ALWAYS starts when I'm at my desk. (Of course, I'm at my desk nearly 20 hours a day, so that's a safe bet, statistically, anyway.)
Keith heads outside to sniff it out. He returns moments later, "Honey, I'm not smelling it."
At this point, I'm sure I've had a stroke or something, because the smell is just overwhelming to me.
Keith lights a candle and I try to focus on Facebook for a minute. Finally, the smell is just so all over me that I decide to go to bed early and without my Wii Fit (FIRST TIME IN 70 DAYS I'VE MISSED A WII FIT WORKOUT!!!!!!!!). I'm pissed.
The smell of cigarette smoke remains. Keith gets out of bed. "Do you smell it?" I ask him. "No, honey, I don't. I'm sorry."
DAMMIT! Now I'm convinced I have a ghost following me around and smoking over my right shoulder, since it's always on my right that I smell it (seated at the desk or in bed--both would put that side of me at the same wall of the apartment, if that matters).
I am seriously OVER this.
So, now, as I type this and I am the only one who smells this, its source cannot be identified, and it's seriously driving me batty, I want to survey the masses. Please register your votes in the comments and if you have any suggestions (other than, "Leave the house more often,"--DUH!), I'd love to hear 'em.
Bonnie's cigarette smoke experience is most likely due to:
A. Bob's grandson.
B. new neighbor girl.
C. across-the-way neighbor with an open window.
D. marathon next-door neighbor.
E. a mild stroke.
F. a ghost visiting.
G. other: __________ (please explain).
Thank you. My ghost, my stroke, and my neighbors all thank you.
August 29, 2008
The amazing and lovely Camille Bennett sent me a wonderful distraction, which just killed a half hour of my life in the best possible way. (Filled with giggles.)
Thanks, Camille! That was a fun break! :)
Now back at it!
June 28, 2008
Went for a walk today.
Okay, so one of the things I passed in today's walk was a "for sale" sign in front of a LOVELY building two streets over from us.
Now, I'm not looking to live *farther away* from the beach in a condo. If I'm buying a condo, I'm thinking LOWER street numbers than this, but still, I'll always LOOK, because, well, while we're not in the market today, we are starting to consider and we'd love to stay in Santa Monica. (Ideally, we want to buy the home currently owned by a family for whom I used to tutor nearly a decade ago... we've been taking Quinn by there for YEARS and showing him his room, the pool, where he'll park his first car, etc.)
I see that this particular property has a website, so I check it out, in case we want to find time to go by the open house tomorrow. Just feel out what a condo in Santa Monica would feel like (even though we'd much rather a house--yeah, who wouldn't, but this IS Santa Monica after all).
And I see at the website that this property is a HAIR larger than the space we currently occupy and it's... well...
Offered at $1,195,000.00
*blink* *blink* *blink*
I'll keep renting by the beach, thankyouverymuch.
June 13, 2008
We have a Gladys Kravitz in our building.
Hell, I guess everyone does, really. Someone who makes it her business to know everyone else's. You can't receive a package without her asking, "Ooh, what'd you get? Who's it from? Is it your birthday? How old are you? Are you having a party?" and so on.
Bonus. Our Gladys is very loud. She doesn't have one of those "read the room" meters that allows her to know when she's overmodulating (which is always) and her favorite thing to do is to go out into the courtyard or front yard and blather on and on and on at 70dB about *anything* with anyone who will listen. (Poor mailman.)
Well, at 3:40am today, something terrifying happened. A loud crash that didn't stop for a while and ended with a car alarm going off. Scary and right out in front of our building and the kind of thing that woke us all up and sent us scrambling for the window to see if we needed to call 911.
A car was T-boned into the front of a parked car... but T-boning didn't make any sense because that would've meant this guy had come out of our neighbor's driveway and slammed into a car at 35 mph, which wasn't possible, considering the distance (and the sounds). The light of day revealed that he had been driving south on Lincoln and clipped a parked car, slammed it into the car in front of it, which slammed into the car in front of it, and because he was so drunk he didn't realize what was happening, he kept flooring it (clipped to/hung on the back of the first car) until he peeled around to the front of the car, landing T-boned after having shredded every outside edge of that car from its rear end to the front quarter-panel and having pushed that car so far into the curb that its tires all popped.
And, at around 3:43am, as we watched him try to figure out how to put his car into reverse to get off the car he had creamed the most, our Gladys Kravitz went running out into the street in her skivvies, on her cell phone with 911. She ran out to the car, right behind it, ignoring its reverse lights popping on and off as the driver tried to figure out how to back up and leave the scene (which he, of course, ended up doing). She asked, "Are you okay?" and since the guy had figured out how to turn off his blaring stereo but not how to leave the scene just yet, he staggered out of the car and toward her, to which she replied, "Sir, get back in your car. Sit down. You're in bad shape. You're in shock. Sit down."
He did and then realized he needed to turn ON his car again and then he was able to leave. Of course, he backed right into Gladys' direction, as she stood there in the middle of the street on call number two to 911, letting them know she smelled alcohol, it appeared he was about to leave the scene, and here's his license plate number.
Best part, she got to hang out in the street for an hour with cops and emergency personnel, got to ride in the back of the cop car to do the "identification of the suspect" up the road where he had been detained, and every neighbor who came out to see what was going on got to hear the whole story retold by Gladys--including the stuff she "figured out" but had absolutely no way of actually knowing, seeing as we were all inside our homes at the time of the impact.
Best BEST part, she gets to continue this story all day today, to anyone who will listen. And now that the owners of the parked cars across the street are coming by, she's on major neighborhood watch, so she can be the one to run out and greet them and tell them all about her encounter with the guy who wrecked their rides.
(Of course, I understand the irony that *I* am Gladys watching Gladys from my window and blogging about things she's only saying out loud and on a dozen phone calls and probably a few emails.)
Point is, it was a very exciting little bit of time in the overnight, and Keith and Quinn have enjoyed surveying the damage up close this morning and talking about drinking and driving, leaving the scene of an accident, physics of accident reconstruction, how to be a good witness, and all that cool father/son stuff.
Bless our Gladys and her loud mouth for being such a good neighbor. Truly. I may roll my eyes about her, but she's actually a good egg. Just a bit cracked.
April 25, 2008
(I hope readers will enjoy this composite sketch of my email inbox, today.)
Dear Bonnie, How can I submit on the films that you are casting? Thanks.
All of my breakdowns go out on Actors Access. Feel free to submit yourself electronically on the role for which you're best suited. And leave a note! We love notes. Thanks for your interest.
Dear Bonnie, I don't have an agent. How can I submit on films you're casting?
I put all of my breakdowns out on Actors Access, so you can submit yourself to me directly, without an agent or manager on your team. Thanks!
Dear Casting, I don't live in California. How can I submit on your stuff?
Actors Access is worldwide. Feel free to submit yourself and mention in the notes section of your submission whether you are a local hire to the area in which the film is shooting.
Dear Bon, I don't have an Actors Access account. How can I get my materials to you?
We are only pre-screening actors via Actors Access at this time. While it's free to have an Actors Access account, you will need to spend either $68 for a year's membership to Showfax (which also gets you unlimited sides downloads) or two bucks per submission. Thanks for your interest!
Casting, What a rip off! I'm not spending money to line your pockets just because you refuse to consider actors via email submissions. You suck.
I don't receive a penny of your submission money. Nor do I receive any kickbacks for choosing one of the electronic submission services over another. I prefer Actors Access because it's where all of my breakdowns, my submission history, my audition logs, my actor deals, and all of my correspondence regarding five years of projects lives. It's also really easy to use and costs the actors very little. I like having all of my submissions in one place and my producers like having one, simple interface from which we can all share a look at the submissions, notes, demos, and session videos. I refuse to consider email submissions because they are not convenient, nor do they help me keep all of my projects in one place and share the information with the production team.
Greedy Bastard, Why won't you let me mail you my headshot?
Knock yerself out! I have a large bin of headshots waiting to be opened by my intern. I do not look at hard copy submissions for specific roles on specific projects because I do all of my casting electronically via Actors Access and Breakdown Express (the agent and manager side of Actors Access). I'll review your materials during my next bit of downtime between projects, assuming my intern hasn't already reviewed and tossed your materials (because she knows what's lacking in my casting files, as well as what I have an abundance of, in terms of type, age, credits, etc.).
Why won't you look at my hard copy headshot for THIS project? I don't want to spend the two bucks on Actors Access!
Um, you do realize that it costs you money to print a hard copy headshot, print a resumé, staple the resumé to the headshot, print a cover letter, address an envelope, and put postage on the dang thing, right? Is your calculator working?
You need to see me for this project. Give me your address so I can FedEx you my materials.
I do not want you to FedEx your materials. Spend the two bucks and submit yourself electronically. I will review your submission via Actors Access and Breakdown Express, along with all of the others. A FedExed submission sits in the same bin as the rest of the mailed materials, which I do not review until I have downtime (assuming my intern hasn't tossed 'em by the time I get that downtime). Save your money. Don't FedEx me anything.
Dear Casting Director Who Hates Actors and Isn't as Accessible as She Likes To Think She Is, You suck. You should let people mail you stuff. Or FedEx. Or drop off.
Do you really understand what you're suggesting? That somehow a CD who puts all of her projects out on Actors Access is not as accessible as the rest of the CDs out there? Okay, think it through. There are hundreds of CDs who never list their projects on sites or services that are accessible to actors. Yes, actors "gain" access to these listings, but they usually have to buy that sort of thing on the sly and then, if it says, "electronic submissions only," then what? What do you do? Try to "crash" the system somehow by doing a drop-off or mailing and hoping that'll work?
Hey, believe me, I know that it DOES work sometimes, so I'm not saying that's an awful plan! But I am saying it's one that costs you more than the little $2 submission on my Actors Access-listed breakdown, right? Because most people are paying for these stolen casting notices (and sometimes key info has been CHANGED, rendering them worthless), and then there's the money for the hard copy submission materials, and if you're dropping it off, well, there's gas money and parking and all that jazz. And that's all for a "maybe get seen," since the CD was looking for electronic submissions only, and may just do like I do and keep your stuff in a bin 'til whenever there's free time. (Note: There is never free time.)
But okay, let's look even beyond those hundreds of CDs who don't put their stuff out on Actors Access and examine the dozens of CDs who simply pick up the phone, call their favorite agents, say, "I need a such-and-such," or, "Send me your top ten gals," or whatever, and there is NEVER a breakdown, NEVER even an indication that there is a project "out there" until it's too late and you've missed your shot at it.
Is THAT how accessible you'd like me to be? You'd like me to call my coverage reps at each of the agencies and just let 'em know I have a new film, send the script over, ask for their top pitches, take some meetings, and then cast the dang thing without ever being open to a non-union, non-repped, direct-from-actor submission? You'd like me to STOP being open to actors whose reps aren't hustling on low-budget indies (because there's no huge commission to be earned) but who know I love their work, so they have the opportunity to submit themselves directly to me? No more putting the script out on my casting website for all to read, so if there's a part in it for you--wherever you live--you can take your best shot by uploading an audition for me at the Cricket Feet Casting group at YouTube.com?
How "accessible" would you recommend I be, then? Since my current level of accessibility isn't working out for you?
It's not enough that you can read the breakdown? Read the script? Self-submit, no matter your location, union status, or representation status? And all that for free, free, and then two bucks for the last part of it? Not enough for you?
Well, damn. I guess I do suck, then.
Dear Bonnie, You DO suck. I hope your movie sucks as much as YOU do.
Ooh, that's perfect! I hope that too!!!!!
April 8, 2008
Other Bonnie, You're Killin' Me!
So, some other Bonnie out there (yes, I have her last name, I know where--city/state--she lives) put down her email address WRONG on something. On multiple somethings.
Her Gmail address is just ONE letter off from mine, but she apparently has drunken benders during which she writes down the address "my way" and I start getting emails about staff meetings (she's a professor), from students turning in late writing assignments (oy, the attachments), about approving pizza party flyers (oy, the typos), and occasionally confirming dinner reservations made via the web or progress reports on fundraising groups.
At first, I just deleted the mail. I get so much spam already, plus so much unsolicited actor email ("Do I have what it takes?" "Do you like my headshot?" "Can I send you my reel?" "Will u casted me in a fulm plz?" "Which of these agents should I sign with?" "Can I work for you?") that it just seemed simple. HIT DELETE. Move on.
And then I decided to reply, "Please remove me from your address book and/or mailing list. Thank you." And that's how I learned that "Other Bonnie" is a professor in Florida whose email address is almost exactly like mine.
Damn, that bitch either doesn't want her mail or has horrific handwriting. :\
March 8, 2008
Class of '88
Let's just say that I probably had it pretty good in high school--certainly better than I thought I had it at the time--and that my life was most like that of Andie in Pretty in Pink: creative, brilliant, from the wrong side of the tracks and very lucky to live just close enough to the edge of the city limits to attend such a good school filled with rich kids from two-parent households with loads of privilege they didn't appreciate, passionate, outspoken, in tighter with the upperclassmen and teachers than my peers, and so ready to get the hell out of there that I was ticking off days like a prisoner by the end of it all.
So, why is it that I find myself both horrified by and completely obsessed with the idea of going back for the 20-year?
(It's certainly not the prospect of reprising my one night stand with that cute guy from homeroom like at the 10-year reunion, is it? Nah.)
January 23, 2008
Keith always seems a little bit disappointed when the series finale of Beverly Hills, 90210 airs via our TiVo (y'know, because TiVo goes and picks it up on SoapNet every day) and then the pilot airs right after it.
It's like he secretly (or not so secretly) hopes that I will, this time around, lose interest in watching the best show ever, every single day.
"Not bloody likely!"
January 3, 2008
You know you live in Southern California when
...the local news anchor, in response to the meteorologist's report about the storms on the way--the storms that are supposed to be some of the biggest storms we've had, bringing the most rain we've had in a decade--says (as a button to her colleague's story),
"So, really, the best thing we can advise is that everyone just take the four-day weekend and get out of town."
August 6, 2007
New Thing I've Started Saying All the Time
Okay, so Julie the Rockstar Intern sits in the floor (yeah, she's a floor-sitter. It's not like I don't offer her sofa space. I swear) and flips through headshots. These are headshots that have made their way to the "last chance" stack.
This means they're either going to be tossed out our stored with "folks whose work I know and generally like" even if I don't know their work because they have some sort of something that makes 'em a keeper.
So, as Julie the Rockstar Intern flips through the headshots, she holds one up and I shrug. I say, "Up to you. I can take 'em or leave 'em." Then she looks at the actor's resumé and mentions some reason I might need them in my files. "She speaks Russian." "He rides a unicycle." "She has a twin."
And my answer, at a certain point (usually when I've just glazed over and decided I can't take it anymore... I'm so OVER deciding who should stay in the files and who should hit the trash), becomes, "Yeah, so do I."
So, this is my new thing that I've been saying lately.
I don't know why I find this amusing. It really isn't. Go read Brendan's Laws of Life. Read 'em all (several posts. All funny). He wants more than 11 readers. Yeah, so do I.
No. I don't know why it's funny either. It just is. To me.
July 20, 2007
"Toe thumb! Toe thumb! Toe thumb!"
So, I'm sitting on the sofa doing showcase stuff.
Keith says something sassy.
I threaten the same torture we offer the cats. (This would be a spritz from the water bottle.) Of course, I happen to shoot a little stream of water onto Keith's head from afar. He is up and out of his chair in a heartbeat.
"Oh, okay!" he says, as he's running over to start kissing on me, sitting on me, wrestling, playing.
As he plops down, he lands on the sofa cushion under which my left foot is lodged. My big toe is folded under and his weight is causing, um, pain. But we're playing and giggling and flirting and I can't find my WORDS.
So, I scream out, "Toe thumb! Toe thumb! Toe thumb!" (Of course, certain that he'll understand I mean "big toe knuckle" and shift his weight.)
When I finally find my words (in my head), I am giggling fiercely. I point at my big toe knuckle and say, "Toe thumb!" as if he should GET THAT.
And by now we are both laughing so hard that the tears stream down our faces. Unable to catch my breath, I can't answer his question: "Toe thumb?" He keeps repeating that question, because he doesn't know what a Toe Thumb is.
Well of course he doesn't. There is no such thing!! I CAN'T FIND MY WORDS!!!!!!! (The giggles continue.)
That is all.
May 8, 2007
So, Keith and I were talking last night and I was holding my eye (twitch) and removing crusty Kleenex from my nose (bleed) and I said,
Just promise me, honey, that when I die, you'll keep up my MySpace page.
And he says, "Oh, of course! I'll put up a photo of your tombstone."
December 22, 2006
Okay, so there's no snow here (although it is raining today) and Quinn is fascinated by the fact that the average low temperature in Los Angeles is higher than the current high in his town, but I just got these Calvins from Tony and they're cute, so I'm posting 'em here (I'm not into the email forward thingy).
Click any to enlarge. They're dang cute and worth the click. Promise.
Final thoughts: Identity is a good concept, but has sucky execution. Thwok has nearly perfected her ninja roll. Toasting you all with NyQuil is not as fun as toasting you all with something else.
October 24, 2006
Love the Halloween promotion over at Actors Access.
Soooo Spoooooooky! Heeeeeeee!
September 19, 2006
I've never watched the show, so I'll have to take this quiz's word for it. (Nabbed from Tara the Great.)
I am mad at my TiVo. It taped so much stuff for me that it started bumping shows off. Dammit! I had saved some really great stuff just to have when I was bored and needed something fun to watch. All gone now. Dammit. I know it's my fault for having tried to grab all of the first episodes of the new shows and stuff (and having had like no time to watch anything lately), but dangit!! Grr.
Oh, in GOOD news, apparently I won KiKi's 2006 Lindsay Firth Jam Out with Your Clam Out Competition. I am honored. Truly. I have so many people to thank. So much of my life has led to this point, one at which I have been able to come up with so cheeky a phrase as to win this prestigious award. I can only hope to be a contender again next year. *sniffle*
September 16, 2006
New Favorite Commercial
Seriously. This has to be a joke.
I mean, it's probably a decent idea. You put your bra on this thing that helps it keep its shape in the wash. Okay. Fine. (Um, but doesn't your bra GET its shape from your hooters? Yeah... mine does. But anyway....) The BEST part of the commercial is the part where they show the different CUP SIZES for this contraption.
There's B-cup (above) all the way to D-cup (below). (Sorry, A-cuppers. You get no Bra Smart to help you.)
And, of course, I know you want to watch it now for yourself, right? Hee!
September 4, 2006
So, I come to bed (after turning in my column) at 4:30am and Keith wakes up to tell me about a dream he just had.
Seems he was riding a motorcycle but didn't have a helmet.
So he had Archie riding on the handlebars.
That way, Archie could swat away any bugs that were headed toward Keith's face as he drove.
There was theme music.
How cute is it that my husband dreams in buddy movies? And that his buddy is our cat?
August 28, 2006
I think it's time I set the record straight.
I grew up believing that Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees were the original recording artists of songs like "With A Little Help From My Friends," "Getting Better," "Good Morning, Good Morning," "Polythene Pam/She Came In Through The Bathroom Window," and "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight." It is all the doing of the 1978 feature film CLASSIC Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. (Notice I did not say "fault".)
(Further, I grew up believing that The Beatles covered songs like George Burns' "Fixing A Hole," Steve Martin's "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," Alice Cooper's "Because," Earth Wind and Fire's "Got To Get You Into My Life," Billy Preston's "Get Back," and the brilliant Aerosmith's "Come Together.")
None of this makes me a bad person.
And I still think Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is one of the best movies ever.
Edit: Oh, and I should probably mention that I didn't hear "Hey Jude" until around 1987 and, until around that time as well, I thought Siouxsie and the Banshees originated "Dear Prudence."
August 20, 2006
Compare and Contrast
Deep thoughts while I'm doing the "brain work" behind this week's column...
Separated at birth, no? (That's Sally Struthers, BTW.)
(Seriously. Listen to them with your eyes closed.)
But far more disturbing, in my search for these images was this:
August 19, 2006
This is bitchin'.
I like this post much better than that bitchy, geeky last one.
August 15, 2006
T-Minus 67 Hours
It's almost time.
*Serious epiphany post to come about how much like SLJ I am and how Babes McPhee made me realize that on Saturday.
August 5, 2006
Sometimes Stumble Upon sends me to some great places.
Watch this video of an obsessed cat. Best part might possibly be when the son (I'm guessing) tells the mom (who is figuring they'll have a huge water bill), "Hush! I'm gonna put this on the web." Heeeeee!
July 29, 2006
July 26, 2006
Best Campaign Slogan Ever
Phil Angelides: A leader, not an actor.
July 16, 2006
Fun With I-Rons
I was just about to change the "headline" on my MySpace profile to say: Potato-free since June 26th when I realized that's not entirely true.
Yes, I decided to go off potatoes while we were at our spa vacation, and I've been very very good. But the combination of the facts that I cannot have alcohol made from grain, my favorite cocktail is the vodka gimlet, and Tana's Michael loves me led to delicious potato vodka beverages for my birthday.
But I'm still officially off potatoes. I'm calling that "good," dammit. Irony is fun like that.
PS--New favorite summer show: World Series of Pop Culture. Good stuff!
July 6, 2006
'tis the Season!
This is classic. Pretty much the definition of cray-cray. I can only hope that the photos do it justice.
Okay, so we leave tonight for our walk and I notice that our neighbor has put some weird little doll thing up against her window. It's either crying or playing hide-and-seek or simply creeping me out in some way.
I'm in shock, as I don't really understand why this thing is here... but neighborlady has lots of crap on the patio, so I guess it could just be one of those things. (I seem to have a karmic path that puts me near neighbors who have the need to store broken wicker furniture and dead plants in abundance on our shared patio area.)
Okay, so I ask Keith as we leave the garden area, "What is that doll ABOUT?!? What is she doing with that?!?" Keith says, "Maybe she's preparing for Halloween." I say, "It's too early for Halloween!" To which Keith replies, "Well, it's never too early for cray-zee."
Excellent point from my beloved.
PS--Breakdown for three short films went out today. Breakdown for a play goes out Friday. Holy bejeebus, I'm a busy bee. Woo! I am technically about six hours behind on all obligations thus far, but I think that's still considered acceptable, considering the pace at which I usually deliver and the expectations "normal" people seem to have.
PPS--Is the rule at MySpace that you should change your photo like every other day or something? Are we supposed to ignore all bulletins? I'm really having trouble keeping up with the rules over there.
HAPPY MERCURY RETROGRADE, Y'ALL!
June 23, 2006
I have SO much to blog about!
And like NO time.
You know how I loves me some Snakes on a MoFo Plane.
June 11, 2006
This is funny. Click on the image to get the full experience (with pop-ups that explain why each actor landed where on the Full House Career Pyramid. Hee!
Reminder: tomorrow is Chad's 12 of 12 photo day. Finally, I have some exciting stuff going on during the appointed day. Hee! Fun stuff! Bonus photo this month is one taken at the same exact moment, all around the world (7am PDT). Ooooh! Between this and the collective creative energy of the 14 Day Screenplay Challenge, you'd think the planets were surely trying to align. Still on page 18 over here, but today is column and screenplay day... then I schedule callbacks for Salvation, Texas. Yippee!
April 28, 2006
Best Movie EVER
Okay, actually this was more than the best movie ever. It was like the best late morning/early afternoon date ever. But first the important part: THE BEST MOVIE EVER! (That'd be Stick It! Duh.) NOTE: SPOILER-FILLED POST (you've been warned).
Now, you know I've been looking forward to this movie for a while now. Def Jam Becca MC, KiKi Longpost, and Babes McPhee and I have all been talking about the greatness that we knew this movie would be. And being the best movie ever, it did not disappoint. Like a Christian kid on December 24th, I went to bed early (read: 6am) so that I could get up at the earliest possible moment after Santa had delivered my goodies (read: 10am, to get goin' for the 11:10am showing at the Promenade) and begin tearing through the wrapping paper.
Keith said, "Wake up! Time for your movie." I replied, "This is not just a movie. This is the beginning of my professional teenage gymnastics career." But wait... first there were previews (and really cool commercials).
Did you know that TLC is running a brilliant series of ads that depict life lessons such as the importance of NOT becoming the Crazy Cat Lady, why you should read instructions before using power tools, and how merlot and email don't mix? (Note: I've just realized that movie theatres are like the only place to see commercials anymore, what with TiVo and all. Hmm.) You can even order these figurines (like the one above) or customize them online like I did, below (seriously. That little one below. Click it. Read it. It's so me). Coolest part, in the Crazy Cat Lady PSA they screened before the movie, is that she leaves to go on a date and says, "Okay, you're in charge," to one of the cats. I so totally do that to whichever cat I see last, as we leave the house. Heh.
Okay, so there was also a really great commercial for Coca-Cola (woo) that must've cost a bazillion dollars. This kid is riding his bike through the city streets during an incredibly intense and beautiful parade of many eras and worlds. It's a gorgeous fantasy world that exists as long as he's drinking his Coke. Rockstar. Up my stock, kids. Thanks.
Oh, and before we go into the review of THE BEST MOVIE EVER (Are you totally feeling like you're sitting through trailers for this review? I am.), let me just say that in addition to the must-see Wordplay about which I blogged yesterday, now there's The Heart of the Game. Yup. It's now the documentary time of year for my moviegoing pleasure. I'm in. Totally.
Now, for greatness.
You've been to the movie's site, so you know the story. Hell, you've seen Bring It On, so you know the story. Well, sort of. Seems the film's writer/director (Jessica Bendinger--love that name, like she's a bending-er, like all of these flippy kids she writes about) is also making a political statement about the arcane rules of judging in the sport of elite gymnastics. She does it quite effectively, too.
But not as effectively as she writes coolass lingo. Holy hell, that's some great stuffs. My favorites:
*Dude! Why you always gotta bite my moment? It tastes good?--Poot, when Frank marshes his mellow or kills his buzzOh, but it's not just the quips I love!
*Well if it isn't Pariah Carey.--Joanne, upon seeing Haley's unwelcome return to the gym (BTW, I totally think we need to just refer to Mimi as Pariah from here on out.)
*Come here, rebel without applause.--Coach Vick to Haley, on one of many of her walk-off-in-disgust attempts
*I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant.--Haley about how positive she is she'll nail a particular trick
*(Q): What's a corsage? (A): It's the universal symbol for "whipped."--exchange between Poot and Frank, when facing a prom purchase (No, we don't get to go to prom in this movie, but we do brilliantly, gorgeously, gloriously shop for it.)
*(Insult): Diva! (Comeback): Dee-vil!--our heroes upon entering the gym before Nationals
No ma'am! It's also the New Miss Malaprop on the block! Rock it. This girl has the most lazily written character (she's so NOT the juicy wonderful villain we got to know and love in Bring It On or any other decent movie of its ilk), but it's totally worth falling in love with her just for the malaprops. Wow! Greatness. Just a sampling:
*If you do that, I will have a cardio-vasectomy!I mean, COME! ON! That shit is OUTSTANDING!
*Can we get rid of the long-sleeved leos? We have a constitutional right to bare arms.
*I earned my spots. I'm practically a Dalmatian!
*I don't appreciate your instimulation.
*You got a GED? What does drunk driving have to do with school?
I predict lots of happy fun drugged-up movie-goers really enjoying the phenomenal prescription drug dream sequence and super-imposed bodies flipping and tricking simultaneously. The fun soundtrack includes a song entitled "I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me." The sense of humor throughout this whole film is just rockstar. It never takes itself seriously, even when it has its "O Captain, My Captain" moment featuring my favorite flipper: Tarah Paige.
I cast Tarah as Cupid in Still of the Night last year. She's amazing. Her brastrap moment is only one of a few really unforgettable, scene-stealing offerings. That so rocks. Well done, cutie! You GO!
Other favorite items include Polly Holiday (I feel shame that I was certain she had died not too long ago) delivering a great line: "There are a lot of great people who had jerks for parents. We've gotta stick together;" and the Buttahara, probably my new favorite trick.
In the "we're going to nail the point of this movie home" line, Coach says, "Floor it." Keith leans over to me and says, "I thought the movie was called 'Stick it,'" to which I reply, "This movie is all about the subtlety." Keith then snorked. Luckily, there were only a dozen of us in the theatre, so I don't think many people heard.
As we left the theatre, glowing with delight (okay, maybe that was just me), we crossed paths with the "noted" Nolé Marin from ANTM, sans puppydog-on-princess-pillow.
And then we were given free samples of the new Dr Pepper Berries & Cream flavor. My review of that? The creamy stuff is really amazing... and the berry stuff is probably just kind of normal for the nectar-of-the-gods that is Dr Pepper... but there's some little aftertaste. Or perhaps it's just that I don't drink soda, so it's always a big trip for my tastebuds. Not sure.
Finally, after a quick stop into the bookstore for two books that should prep me very well for my big meeting next week (bought on a gift card I'm FINALLY redeeming, even though it was given to me almost a year ago as a thank you for a casting gig), we crossed Wilshire in front of the great Robert LaSardo, whom I wanted to cast in the above-mentioned Tarah Paige movie last year (but he was too busy with a soap opera gig). Anyway, big fan (me). And a great guy (he).
I'm still basking in the afterglow that was my morning with Stick It. I am certain that I will remain inspired to be the best professional teenage gymnast I can possibly be. Training began today. My rips have rips!
April 23, 2006
Hey... you loved that comic about "nothing to say," right?
Big thanks to rattus rattus for the connection!
April 13, 2006
If you're married to a Keith, this conversation won't surprise you.
Keith (upon coming home from the market with a gallon of milk; more milk than we'll be able to consume before it spoils, typically): It was a dollar cheaper than the half-gallon size.
Me: We'll never be able to finish that whole thing!
Keith (pulling a large package of cookies from another bag, triumphantly): Ah! That's why I bought cookies!
Me: To save a dollar on the milk?
Keith (deer-in-headlights look... then): Uh-huh! That's my logic and I'm stickin' to it!
March 31, 2006
Real Movie Posters. Real.
It's funny. Way.
January 28, 2006
Happy Birthday, Everybody
There are two days of the year on which the MOST people I know were born. One of them is 1/28. The other is 9/11. Seriously. Eight of my good friends share today as a birthday. Six friends share 9/11 (with another five sharing 9/12). Wow. Lots of numerological karma, having this many friends with the same b'day, wouldn't you say?
Okay, so happy birthday to all of you! Wish I could play with everyone.
Now, on to the tagging I got from the greatness that is Nini.
While I have a list of "Little Known Facts at the bonsite (which was way fun to go back through, since I created the list in 1997 and have only updated it a few times since), I still am having trouble coming up with My Five Weirdest Habits, which is what Nini has challenged me to do. I mean, how many of my "things" are habits and how many are OCD rituals? Well... I'll do my best.
1. I am incapable of turning a volume that is measured in numbers up or down to any increment other than five or zero. If my car stereo's volume is on 38, I know Keith was driving last, as I can only have it on 35 or 40. Period.
2. I rewrite lists. This is actually how my OCD was first suspected (by a teacher in high school). I was rewriting a list in Spanish class and my teacher sat me down for a heart-to-heart about rituals and habits and phobias. It was quite revealing. I still rewrite my lists, but not as often as I used to, since the SixHundy takes care of most of my list-making anymore.
4. I cannot make a list with item number three included. Blame somesuch. It is said the "There Is NEVER a Three" rule came from the mis-remembering of a Monty Python sketch, but I've never watched Monty Python, so I can't say for sure. Whether it was supposed to be number six or number three or whatever, it has stuck as number three with my group of online friends, and it is now something that I can't NOT do.
5. Doors must be left all the way open or all the way closed. Period. A door left "ajar" or open but not all the way up against the wall behind it is somehow offensive, out of order, going to cause me stress, or create chaos in my life in some way. Want to drive me crazy? Come over, open all of my cabinets, leave all doors half-open, and put your purse or backpack on the floor (bad feng shui). I will need a valium.
6. When I bowl (which I rarely do anymore), I sing (in my head), "Mary had a little lamb," as I approach the release line. I took bowling as a phys ed in college (woo hoo) and this was the tactic taught by our instructor. My average was around 120. I liked that class.
Next, a wonderful link that was shared by the greatness that is Tony on the 24th. Only wish I'd opened the email then. But how can you know there's brilliance in the inbox? It's like the time I let a phone message go unanswered and later learned I had been cast in the "Deadbeat Club" music video, but missed it, since I figured Eric was just calling to invite me to his party that weekend. Ugh. That's what you get, busy girl!
January 21, 2006
You So Got It Wrong
CNN just announced that Grand Magazine has named its "sexiest celebrity grandfather of the year."
Who beat out sexy seniors Paul Newman, Harrison Ford, and Robert Redford?
Yup. Tony Danza.
So, it would seem that "ability to judge what is sexy" is the first thing to go. *shudder*
January 19, 2006
Lookee what Keith made for me.
Big day in casting. Just signed on to cast a feature shooting in NY. Brings total feature film casting gigs for the first half of 2006 to FOUR. And, passed yet another casting gig off to my sis. Yup. Big day. I need a nap.
Oh, and thanks, folks, for the head's up on comments being wonky. I've changed some settings. Please try to comment now, if'n you please.
January 18, 2006
B/c V-day Is Coming...
I defer to the greatness that is Chip on how to celebrate correctly.
Click here to do yourself (*giggle*).
I LOVE So Much!!
So, I've spent two solid hours importing my RSS feed links (which were categorized as "RSS feeds" and "Lazy RSS feeds"), plus my good ol' fashioned non-feed blog links and links to things I would NEVER bookmark as feed-food (until NOW, baby) into the greatness that is Rojo. I am so so so so so so so so so happy already. LOVES me some Rojo! It is my new TiVo. Thank you, Beffers!!!!!
And then, the greatness that is Tony emails me a link to this: Seth Green as Chris Griffin reading from Star Jones' new book on the Adam Carolla show. Holy Hell, that's some funny stuff. Wow. I'm just more in love every minute today.
Spent the morning listing and re-listing my categories and subcategories for the new home office "system" (and I cannot WAIT to get this project off the ground), plus fielding calls and emails from producers in--get this--England and NY (plus FOUR more in LA) about upcoming casting needs. AND I officially handed off a project I don't have time for to another amazing casting director, my sister Deb.
* = disclosure to come. Stand by.
January 10, 2006
Because Sometimes There Are No Words
Seriously. Visit the time suck that is Bad Tattoos.
Thanks to the 15-Minute Hipster for the tip.
And yes, I'm secretly relieved that none of the tattoos *I've* (ahem) seen in person made it to that site. Yet. *giggle*
December 25, 2005
Ho Ho Ho
Being a narcissist, I have a Google Alert set up for my name. This came across on Friday.
Christmas cravingsThe fact this ran in the AJC (my hometown rag) is going to make everyone I know from back home think two things:
Atlanta Journal Constitution (subscription) - GA,USA
... "We've all had so much to do that no one has stopped to think about Christmas," said Bonnie Gillespie, a 31-year-old press officer for the American Red Cross. ...
1. Bonnie gave up that silly Hollywood thing and did something important with her life.
2. That hussy is lying about her age.
November 17, 2005
Thwok's Favorite Toy
Thwok's new favorite toy is my padded emery board.
She stole it from my desk yesterday and began picking it up (Yes, she stands on her back paws and uses her front paws like a squirrel does.), tossing it into the air, and then chasing it down as it landed. Then she would grab it between her two front paws and begin kicking at it with her back paws until she flipped it across the room with one too-swift kick, running again to chase it down and punish it for getting away from her.
We've seen her walking around the house with it between her teeth, watched her wrestle with it, and enjoyed the giggles as she tosses it into a wall from which it bounces back and sails right back at her like a boomerang.
She is easily amused (as are we).
Animals are cool.
October 22, 2005
Because It's So Funny
I shall share this post from the wonderousness that is Ditto at CAO.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other asks, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Yeah, I know... you've seen some of 'em before... but MAN, there's some good stuff in there! *snork*
October 18, 2005
So Easily Amused
Thwok has a new favorite toy.
See, Keith went to our distributor's warehouse today and picked up a box of "damaged returns" (which is silly, b/c they aren't really *damaged* as much as smudged or handled in some way that makes them no longer "sell as new" material), in case we'd like to use the books for giveaways or whatever.
Box has assorted packing peanuts in it, and just enough of a hole in the top for the silver munkey to snake her paw inside and pull out said peanuts and play, play, play, play, play.
I am amused at how she is amused. The elder kitties are just so glad the thunder has stopped. They did not like that. I, on the other hand, LOVED IT, especially when it was so loud (just before the rain began) that the entire schoolyard filled with children across the street erupted in high-pitched screams of terror and excitement. Hee hee hee.
So easily amused.
PS--next entry will be my 888th at SpyNotebook.org. Cool, eh?
October 4, 2005
Don't Judge Me!
Is it wrong?
Is it wrong that I open all of the semi-easily-opened pistachios and leave the too-tightly-encased ones for Keith?
I mean, I am wrist-down dainty.
Posted by bonnie at 11:53 PM
September 4, 2005
Sunday Morning Search Party
Haven't done a search party in awhile, and I'm already ahead of myself in my To Do List this weekend (amazing), so let's have some fun and analyze the words and phrases that brought people here recently.
Trashelle funny: yes, yes she is. Often in the way that Tara Reid funny or Anna Nicole Smith funny. Although, I must say that Katie out-Trashelled Trashelle last week on Kill Reality. Man, that show was such a great idea!
Bonnie pink: I like that one!
Blake Robbins: The OC: yes, my writing partner booked a recurring character on The OC but I can't tell you what he does. Just know, if you've seen him on everyothershowlately you know what his characters always do. *evil grin*
Tru-Fan Eliza: I think I got on their radar from casting the amazing Shawn Reaves as Kliner in Chandler Hall, but there has been so much turnover in that cast that I'm afraid to ask if he's been shooting lately.
Scout Taylor-Compton MISSING: yeah, a big spike in traffic over that one, as it seemed my blog was the only thing leading people to info, early on in her missing days, before the family went public. What's odd is that my blog drew the attention of (and led to phone calls from) the media... and lots of it. When the NY Daily News calls... well... it's just a little surreal.
girls upset tummy: aww. I have no advice for such. I got some advice for mine, but little of it was gluten-free, and I'd settle for an upset tummy over a migraine any day!
that hot dress: well, if it's one I've had on my bod, it MUST be this one. I mean... come ON! Hot, yo?
Kathy Griffin: ew! Don't look here for her (well, except above, I guess). Deb, I think I thought of someone who elicits in me the Renée Zellweger response you have. It's Kathy "Botox" Griffin. *shudder* (Oh, and upon looking over RZ's IMDB, I have actually seen FOUR movies she was in, but in two of them, she only had one forgettable scene each, so yeah, I guess I really only have seen two of HER movies. Ironic to see the most recent title, considering our Friday night experience.)
Definition: Work In Progress: that's me, baby. That's me.
PS--My nails are so long that I can't type without fat-fingering everything lately. Gluten-free eating has proven sooooo healthy for me. Love it!
PSS--My confidentiality and non-disclosure agreement with FOX is still in place from my Paradise Hotel days, so I can't say much, but OMG are the producers LYING in their interviews during Paradise Hotel Revealed on the FOX Reality Channel. Holy bejeebus, are they lying their arses off!! I'll tell you specifically where around May 2006, when I won't get sued for doing so.
Posted by bonnie at 1:52 AM
September 3, 2005
Others Say It Better
There is little to say about the state of natural disaster and speed of government response (vs. fictional WMDs and speed of government knee-jerk) that hasn't been said better* elsewhere. So, I'll just share some sillies.
As for any tales about my brother's visit, those have been shared privately with those who experienced it and today is an official Day of Silence in the Gillespie-Johnson household in an attempt to recover. Thank you to those who joined in the Gas Light karaoke-fest last night. I think, when my brother screamed, "Bitch!" at the top of his lungs at me during my rendition of Piece of My Heart, he meant it as a compliment. *sigh* I am so less broken than I sometimes think I might be. Focusing on the positive, I will just say thank you to the universe for the reminder.
Glad August is over. Glad it's cooler. Glad we raised a buttload of money to send to the Red Cross last night. Glad my brother didn't pee in my wastebasket (thanks again, Keith... for everything).
Yes, the SpyNotebook's Google ads are broken.
Silence is good. Go click on kittens. I know I will.
Posted by bonnie at 6:35 PM
August 17, 2005
Why why why why why can't the ad agency create a commercial in which proper grammar is used?
The line in the new Staples back-to-school ad is: "Wouldn't it be nice if there was an easy button for school?"
COME! ON! SUBJUNCTIVE, anyone?!?
Oh, the irony that it's a back-to-school ad! Auuuuugh!!!!
Posted by bonnie at 4:47 AM
August 15, 2005
Upset Tummy :(
I remember my mom saying that I was never as miserable as when I had an upset tummy, as a little girl. I'm definitely in Whiny Bunn* mode right now.
So I took a quiz.
That was brought to you by Ali, who took it from Jodes, whose blog I don't visit nearly enough because I feel like a failure since I can't knit. (Kidding, Jodes. I think it's really cool and I'm just jealous.)
I think I have to go to the store now to buy something with bubbles in it. I'm crabby when my tummy is owie. I also apparently type in baby-talk then too.
* When I was a little girl and I would get particularly whiny, my parents would say, "Who are you? You can't be Bonnie Athene! She's a sweet little girl. You must belong to the Bunn family next door. You must be their little girl, Whiny Bunn."
Of course, this was very funny to them until I went over to Mr. and Mrs. Bunn's house one day and asked if I could play with their daughter, Whiny Bunn. That ended that.
Posted by bonnie at 10:59 PM
August 10, 2005
Letter from the Cosmos
I'm sorry I've been such a ginormous pain in the arse for these past couple of weeks.
I know you've tried to remain calm (and keep others calm) in the face of my diva-demands and, usually, you are quite grace-filled when I come by (since you plan for the chaos I cause and always take extra time with everything, showing marvelous levels of patience), but I've just had to toy with you this time around.
Seeing you try to keep your cool when everything is going wrong at once, watching technology fail you, and noticing that communication simply never lands the way it was navigated has been a monkey-filled barrel of shits and giggles. Thanks for the laughs!
PS: At one point last week, you said this was the worst of me you could recall and Keith said he'd experienced worse. I must say I truly enjoyed the moment today when he finally said, "Yeah. I'm just hoping to live through this one. It's really bad." That was fun for me. Thank him, wouldja?
Posted by bonnie at 5:26 AM
August 5, 2005
He's just so dang funny!
Cliff (AKA "London," but not by his own choosing) is often brilliantly funny.
But this post on Politically Correct Kids Toys is just about my favorite thing I've read today.
Hangman: New features include a governor's phone that can stop proceedings at any time and an Urgent Action campaign by Amnesty International.
Sort of ties in, no?
Posted by bonnie at 9:41 PM
July 26, 2005
Holy crap, that's funny.
Fargo star William H. Macy thought he was being tricked when prop managers on the set of new low-budget movie Edmond appeared to lose the key to his handcuffs during an embarrassing nude scene. The actor was left standing wearing nothing but a "sock" to cover his genitals during a prison scene in the new David Mamet film.
He says, "They marched me down this long hallway... I'm buck naked. I'm manacled behind my back and my feet are manacled. I do the scene four times and the property guy comes up and says, 'OK, we got it.' He says to the actor, who is playing the cop, 'Gimme the key,' who says, 'I don't have the key.' There's no key. They've lost the key. I'm buck naked... I said, 'Oh, that's really funny, you've lost the key.' The prop guy said, 'No, it isn't funny, this is really serious.' (Eventually) they found the key. I tell ya, low-budget is not for sissies."
Archie has become obsessed with the Carl's Jr. commercial starring a clucking chicken. Seriously, he's not the smartest cat, but at least he gets that bird breasts are better than Paris' breasts any day.
Posted by bonnie at 5:45 PM
June 10, 2005
Okay, so, over on one of the many forums where I post, someone posted a comment to a guy who'd behaved in a very charming way. She said:
I swear, I want to bare your children!
Everyone continued on as if nothing odd had happened. They chimed in about how charming the guy had been and how she'd not be offering kids so easily, had she delivered any in the past, etc.
I was sooo tempted to post:
Watch out. Michael Jackson's in trouble for doing that!
But I did not.
I shared the story of my instincts here instead. Where it can be properly appreciated.
Posted by bonnie at 2:34 AM
May 15, 2005
So 60 Minutes does a piece on the best-seller On Bullshit.
It got me thinking about the term "bullshit." Why did the bull's poop become the most popular in our language? Why not the dog's? The monkey's? The gerbil's? Is their poop of less-importance, when measured up against that of the mighty bull? And if its poop is the more important, more popular, then why does the term mean something is false? Hm.
(Yes, I've added the book itself to my Amazon Wishlist.)
Posted by bonnie at 8:06 PM
April 23, 2005
I got an email this week about this kid's cartoon on JibJab.com.
He's an actor, I'm on his email list I guess, and he wanted me to know this cartoon would get its first public screening on Leno last night (which it did). It was way funny. So... here 'tis. Go see. Laugh. Word.
Posted by bonnie at 1:08 AM
April 5, 2005
...about a ghost dog (yes, I see a dog theme lately in my blog).
Enjoy Chip's story from 2000 (he's running Best Of blogs while away from the computer). I'll post more at a break in the editorial process, I'm sure.
Posted by bonnie at 11:14 AM
April 2, 2005
I just took a quiz at Jo-D's blog that called me a horny smiley.
Then, I yelled, "You won't describe me as pretty no matter how hard I smack you!"
And Keith fell into the floor in a giggle fit. In his underwear.
Someday, when Keith is famous, they'll ask what we do on a hot, Saturday night. The answer will always be: CHEAP CHAMPAGNE AND COPS ON FOX.
Posted by bonnie at 10:09 PM
¿Cómo se dice...?
I don't know if I'll be able to describe this correctly, but it's really cool and I dig it, so I'll try.
There's this dog in our 'hood. And when his owners walk him, he always stops to climb the palm tree in front of our apartment. It's way cool. He gets up about four feet higher than the guy in this shot, above, and he just chills.
He's standing sort of on the sides of his feet and just holding onto the side of the tree, straight up. Sure, the trunk is a shade thicker than the rest of the tree, but HOW does this dog balance his 45 pounds or so up there? It's so freekin' cool! And he just hangs out!
I love that!
I also love that I spoke at the Creative Actors' Alliance brunch today. It was rockstar. Way fun.
Now, Keith is at his silly movie and I'm working on the book again. Good thing I don't have to speak. I have totally lost my voice. HUGE thank you to Amy for the AWESOME secret present you left at my door. You are SUCH a good egg! I can't wait to try it! Manah manah!
Posted by bonnie at 3:52 PM
March 27, 2005
There is almost nothing better than spending quality time at Def Jam Becca MC's blog.
You MUST read this entry on her daughter's Purim parade costume.
DJBMC is funny.
PS--That's a name I gave her freshman year of college. Isn't it sweet that she still lets me call her that?
Posted by bonnie at 5:46 PM
February 16, 2005
Surreal Moment of the Day
Today was the first day of casting at AFI. During a short break, I went to the loo. I'm in the stall, doing my thing.
"Um, hi. Are you a Fellow here?"
"Me? No. I'm in casting."
"Oh? Are you a casting director?"
"Yeah. That'd be me."
"Really? What's your name."
"Oh, wow! Can I give you my headshot?"
Um... the only thing I could imagine doing with your headshot in that little room is certainly NOT what you would want me to do with it.
I AM NOT KIDDING. This absolutely surreal moment was brought to you by the letter P.
Posted by bonnie at 7:06 PM
January 31, 2005
Two Reasons To Smile
2. I found a few of Thwok's mice! They're under the freeeeekin' fridge. Praises be! Now, what was I doing down there? Don't ask.
But I'm laughing now. That's a good.
Posted by bonnie at 1:04 AM
January 20, 2005
Well, Hell. A Quiz
I know how happy this will make Kris! ;)
Nabbed from Chip.
You are a DYT--Dark Dry Traditional. This makes you a Cynic.
You're a realist. You'll take the piss out of anything, and do it with style and a skinny gray tie. You find humor in the mundane. When the mundane is thousands of working class families watching their retirement savings get snarfed by unpunished white collar bandits, that REALLY gets the larfs.
You bring humor with you, and can flip over any situation to find the tender funny underbelly.
Incidentally, you're better equipped than anyone else to shake off the bad things happen to you. Mysterious lump? You've seen scarier lumps in your garlic cheesey grits. It seems like nothing makes you truly happy, but nothing really upsets you, either.
Your comic sensibility was more in tune with the eighties. But cross your fingers--another coupla years of Bush and maybe we'll work up a nice Reagan-era national bitterness again. A sardonic orange cat will once again rule the newsprint, and Springsteen'll write more righteous Jersey retro-cock-rock anthems for the progressive pols of 2024 to cold gank. What's past is prologue!
You might like David Letterman, or maybe stay up to see if Conan has another "Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage."
Of the 3215 people who have taken this quiz, 10.5% are this type.
Your Active humor score of 7/10 means you are ju-u-ust right. You're probably pretty popular--a walking social lubricant. You know how to take someone from on edge to relaxed, and from relaxed to larfing. You're kind of like an episode of Arrested Development. That show is good. Anyway. Rave on, funny one.
That reminds me.
Favorite joke at All Ivy Comedy at the Improv Tuesday night?
From Eric Esoja (sp?): Donald Rumsfeld is just pissed that the tsunami killed more people in a day than his administration has in four years. He's pissed about the WMD (WAVE of mass-distruction).
Posted by bonnie at 1:03 PM
November 17, 2004
No idea where this originated, but Norm over at Somesuch-Whatnot posted it and I love it!
Y'ALLBONICS - ANY GOOD SOUTH'NER WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN PEACHES WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD BELOW!
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English Dictionary.
1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"
3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."
5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
9.) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".
19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed must be from some farn country."
20.) DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"
22.) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
24.) HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
Posted by bonnie at 1:14 PM
October 5, 2004
And thanks to the greatness of niecey Ash...
...there's something to "go to bed on." Indeed!
Posted by bonnie at 2:34 AM
August 23, 2004
I Love White Trash Food
I don't know why it is, but when I'm in a sad mood, a blue mood, or simply a reflective mood, I crave the White Trash Food of my youth: Little Debbie Snack Cakes, Hostess Fruit Pies, Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli, Franco-American SpaghettiOs with Meatballs, Crunchy Cheetos, Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, and Orange Crush.
Man, I'm one sick puppy. I love it.
Posted by bonnie at 10:43 AM
August 17, 2004
OH MY GOD!!!
11:10pm, Tuesday, 17 August 2004
BONNIE DISCOVERS A PATCH OF SILVER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, I'M GOING GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL OF THAT STUFF I SAID ABOUT HOW COOL IT WOULD BE TO BE ONE OF THOSE PREMATURELY GREY WOMEN WITH STREAKS OF SILVER HAIR... I TAKE IT ALL BACK! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by bonnie at 11:11 PM
June 25, 2004
Anagrams Are Fun!
I remember Chip having found a few of these for me once (including a couple that aren't here: Spoil Beige Linen and No Eligible Penis) but there are sooo many more Anagrams for Bonnie Gillespie out there.
pigeon bile lines
pigeon belle is in
sponge bin lie lie
ellipse bin ego in (which I think is Latin for "math builds my self-esteem" or something)
Oh, I could do this for hours (and I think I will! Taxes are much less interesting).
Will eventually blog about the showcase we went to tonight... must heal first. Need distance from the experience so as not to come off like a hater. Two shows tomorrow, one Sunday, then a break from show-going while we pet-sit for a few days and I take NO COMPUTER (of COURSE the SixHundy doesn't COUNT).
'Til next time, I'm gospel bini in eel, signing off!
Posted by bonnie at 11:37 PM
June 15, 2004
Dining Room Suit
So, I just made a comment to Keith about buying a "dining room suit." He asked me to spell "suit" as I'd just used it.
"Don't you mean 'suite'?"
"No. 'Suit'. Dining room suit."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes. Of course."
And of course, the fact that he's so sure I'm mistaken sends me out of bed and to the Internet, where I learn that I--and thousands of others like me--have been taught the phrase "dining room suit" which is totally and completely incorrect.
I recall Mom saying, "Bonnie, dust the dining room suit with Pledge," and such.
How, at nearly 34, can I be shocked and amazed by the fact that I have had anything like that wrong my entire life? Haven't I learned by now that there is always more to learn?
When I found thousands of hits for the phrase "dining room suit" in Google, I asked Keith how it was possible that we ALL had this wrong.
"Well, I'd assume you were all raised in GEORGIA," he said... and you KNOW how he said it.
Grumble grumble grumble.
Posted by bonnie at 3:59 PM
April 21, 2004
Response to Comments
...and a funny.
Holy cow, this is great. Thank you, Tony, for the hook up on the 10 Worst Album Covers.
I think that's my favorite. HOWL!
Okay, now let's get to some of these long-neglected comments!!
This post on Zen Shopping (as Joni called it) got the most comments, recently.
Joyce Isaza said: Bon, Can't blame for wanting that Jacket!! It is absolutely adorable!..Great color too!
Isn't it gorgeous? I am still wanting it. Seriously. It's pretty sad when you cannot stop thinking about something for a month! Damn, where's my Lotto winnings so I can go back and buy such a silly, expensive thing?
Ali said: It definitely canNOT be said that you have a bag full of nothing!!! SMF #1 approves, my dears, good job! XOXO
That's the highest praise. As with all shopping, you are my mentor! I thank you for the stamp of approval! That means I wasn't wasteful AND that I got a good bag. Excellent!
Susan Jones said: The link to the kitchen gadgets!!! ohmygawd! They have a sponge bob cookie jar! a must have. *hehehe*
Wasn't that GREAT? Did you order it? ;)
From yesterday's entry about my new best friend, the Grammar Nazi, I got these comments:
Joni said: I saw this yesterday on CNN and immediately thought of you. I've already got the book on order to pass on to you. :-)
Yay! Happy happy happy!!! Can't wait!!!!! Yay! Thankee muchee!
Def Jam Becca MC said: EatsShootsandLeaves.com is the website. You should play the punctuation game - great fun. I'm emailing EVERYONE I know. The only downside - I live in fear of improperly punctuating my punctuation diatribes! Does a Def Jam Becca MC cease to exist once she has two kids and grey hair? Am I now just (sigh) Rebecca?
First off, THANK YOU for the link. I'm sooo sending in photographic evidence of poor punctuation for their Hall of Shame. OMG, that's some good stuff.
Haven't played the Punctuation Game yet... shall soon. That could be the rest of my night, dammit! Oh yeah, I'm sooo avoiding doing our taxes! LOL
Next, you are now and will always be Def Jam Becca MC. That is what I dubbed thee in 1988 and that name does NOT expire! ;) Two kids... yeah, you owe me some photos, woman!
Finally, thank you for doing a comment. Sadly, I lost all my (former template) Blogger-Haloscan comments when Haloscan died and we merged over to Movable Type. Hm... or did I? Lemme check some archive stuff.
Anyway, point is, it had been far too long since you stalked me. Thankee.
Regarding the announcement that we completed casting on The Moor yesterday...
Joni said: Cool - The guy playing Warren in the MooPs is Catherine's dead ex-husband on CSI. Still hoping you find a role to cast Nearly Naked Spike for me.
Since I don't watch CSI, I'll have to take your word for it. ;) Oh yeah, or I could check his resumé. Duh. LOL Wait... he's dead? Like there's a ghost on CSI or something?
I still love calling it The MooPs. Think I always will. LOL They're having their first cast meeting/read-thru tonight. *sniffle* My baby's all grown up. Tee hee.
Nearly Naked Spike... I'll see what I can do. I'll need a naked mid-20s to 30-year-old guy for this one movie I may be casting soon. Butt-shot only, but there's also the sex. We're looking at Scott Speedman, but if you'd prefer I check out Spike, I guess I can. ;) What's his real name, for the uninitiated-to-the-Buffyverse-that I am?
Two comments from the Hollywood Happy Hour roundup post:
Amy said: Hey Bonnie, I met a really cute, funny, nice and talented actor the other night. He gave me his information and I was wondering if you could help him out? He lives in LA and I met him because he was visiting family in Boston. What do you think? Let me know - amyingalls at yahoo dot com.
Okay, you've also asked for an email, so I'll do that too... but yeah, in general, I'm always happy to meet up with actors. Depending on where he is with his career and all, I can share some advice, make some introductions, whatnot... or perhaps bring him in for an audition at some point. All my contact info is on the Cricket Feet website. Thanks, Amy! Oh, and HHH would be a wonderful event for him to try and attend, if he's free for our July 6th extravaganza!
Cindy K. said: Hey Bonnie! I agree, HHH was great fun last night. Thanks for bringing such an interesting group together. I actually got to gush at Fred over how funny he is on S.O.
Good luck with the casting!
Excellent! I'm so glad you got the chance to chat with Fred, Cindy. Isn't he wonderful? We should see about having you help out on the set of Perfect, if you want (shooting in your neck of the woods). That would give you lots of time with him. ;) And it pays! Lemmeknow if you want the hookup. Debra McCarthy would be your boss. Tee hee!
From this post about needing to hire an assistant or saying no to work...
Susan said: I vote for hiring an assistant!!!
Hee hee! Yeah... we'll see. Right now, none of the films are "go" yet. I have four in the queue, so to speak. I'll let you how things progress. ;) You rock.
And from the post about a cast member from Perfect bailing on us...
Susan said: Ick Ick - cast member of Perfect. You know who would love to work with you & your team Bon! ;)
Yes, indeed I do, Susan! Sadly, it's not a cast member who can be replaced with "you-know-who" and "I-know-who." ;) Don't worry, there will always be a next time! I can't wait to work with your son. Someday!!
And that's it...
for all the catching up on comments. Now I'm gonna go back to some old-version archives to see if I can resurrect some of Def Jam's old awesome comments from the stalker days. Ah... memories. And the things I'll do to keep myself from getting the taxes done tonight.
Posted by bonnie at 6:52 PM
January 16, 2004
And the Other Quiz Item
Posted by bonnie at 9:59 PM
Another Fun Quiz
Posted by bonnie at 10:33 AM
January 12, 2004
The Disney lot has the FRIENDLIEST squirrels ever!
Posted by bonnie at 1:10 PM
December 23, 2003
So, I'm watching the episode of Friends in which they have the little contest to name all 50 states in six minutes. Phoebe names one and then switches to naming types of celery, Monica names 41, Ross names 46, and Joey names 56.
So, of course I have to try it while migrating my Blogs into Movable Type.
What is WRONG with me??
Posted by bonnie at 2:01 AM
November 30, 2003
OMG, this is brilliant and soooooo true. It's the Modern Drunkard Index's 86 Rules of Boozing. Of course, there's one missing, and it's my biggest "drinking with others" pet peeve on the planet:
IF YOU ARE ENGAGED IN A TOAST, YOU MUST TAKE A SIP OF YOUR DRINK BEFORE SETTING IT DOWN! IT IS HORRIBLY BAD LUCK TO PUT YOUR GLASS DOWN AFTER TOASTING BUT BEFORE DRINKING!
I am SHOCKED at how frequently I see that happen. It's like people KNOW it bothers me and therefore do it just to watch me cringe.
Dear me... I must be feeling better. That felt like a rant.
Posted by bonnie at 8:44 PM
November 18, 2003
When Sick... Quiz!
You are SCREAM! Haven't heard of them? That's the
story of your life, underappriciated talent.
You are artistic and creative and carry a very
political edge. You aren't that angry at much
outside of injustice, but that's because you
get all the ladies. If it weren't for the
interest of a few popular kids, you would have
never been able to put out records, but who
cares any ways, right? Laisse-Faire.
WHAT D.C. HARDCORE BAND ARE YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by bonnie at 12:07 PM
November 7, 2003
Love the '80s; Love Quizzes
Ah... now THIS is a reason to stay up all night!
I'm now happy and perhaps able to rest. Hee hee.
Posted by bonnie at 4:49 AM
November 1, 2003
When you realize that you have, readily available in your modest apartment, enough '80s gear to dress yourself and three friends as Pat Benetar, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna (several versions), and Olivia Newton John, should you so choose.
What the hell is a 33-year-old woman doing with 50 rubber bracelets, turn-down "collar" spikey heeled lace-up boots, fingerless gloves, and blue-white lip gloss? Handy!!
But the "Blossom" costume is complete. Headed to a party with my buddy the Phantom of the Opera. My fiancé is at Kill Bill with our friend Michelle. *sigh* Different strokes...
Oh wait, that's another round of '80s costumes. Hee hee.
Posted by bonnie at 8:31 PM
October 10, 2003
Ahh... Something Useful
See? There is something wonderful about being up at odd hours and not turning the TV (or the lights) on. Reading SpyNotebook Blogs, I learn a lot.
Such as my alcohoroscope. Hee hee. From the page: ...in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated).
Hee hee hee again. I really should try to get a nap before work. Hee hee.
Posted by bonnie at 5:09 AM
October 3, 2003
I got this absentee ballot so that I could easily determine my votes prior to Tuesday and get everything all turned in way in advance. So much reading!
Yeah... haven't done that yet. Anyone wanna give me a list of how to vote? Is there just a box for NO?
Posted by bonnie at 7:30 AM
September 23, 2003
Today, in the mounds of the headshots and resumés, I received a postcard from Dr. John Martin, yeah... that's Donna's dad from Beverly Hills, 90210. Oh, wow! I sooo love this job!
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Posted by bonnie at 9:02 AM
September 22, 2003
Oh my my my my my
I haven't mentioned that we have received quite a few submissions for Consider As True at our post office box with a note written on them: TUB INSIDE ON FLOOR. What does this mean? We've wondered this quite a bit.
I theorized that perhaps some casting company (one of those places that charges actors a fee in order to do submissions on their collective behalf) had a sign up for my casting, and if someone came after hours, he or she put his or her headshot envelope under the door with a note on it to get the folks to put it in the "tub inside on floor" or something.
Yeah. I come up with elaborate tales.
Keith went to the post office today to (finally) collect the delivery we'd gotten a notice about (23 cents postage due, meaning it was some silly actor who mailed a headshot with only a 37 cent stamp, not with the added 23 cent stamp for the extra size). When he was at the counter, he asked the clerk about the "tub inside on floor" note, since... here again today... it was on something from inside our box. The clerk looked at our box number and said, "Hang on," and walked away.
She then came around to the door on the side of the counter and brought out four (yes, FOUR) mail tubs of submissions for this film. Yes... that's nearly 120 pounds of headshots and resumés Keith had to haul home. Hundreds and hundreds (hell, surely over a thousand) of submissions for a little indie (non-paying) feature film.
And, of course, pre-reads were this past weekend.
What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this MAIL???
Posted by bonnie at 8:33 PM
July 14, 2003
Living in Fear
This is serious.
At any time, I could be minding my own business... and boom! The crew from Ambush Makeover could kidnap me and make me change my look (I don't have a look, as you know). That would be evil and scary and awful.
That is all.
Posted by bonnie at 10:55 AM
July 11, 2003
A Little Funny
So, today I'm 33.
Keith sent flowers. Of course, he sent flowers to the casting office where my noon meeting was scheduled. Got a call at 11am that we've rescheduled the meeting for Monday... and Keith hit the road... going to intercept my flowers at the casting office, get a bunch of "aww" from the ladies there, and get them back here to me before I knew what was happening. Very sweet.
Okay, so... the flowers... they're absolutely lovely. There's something like 33 (hey... I get it!) roses and such... just gorgeous! And, of course, Salema has decided that this is the exact nutritional element her diet has been lacking. She did a little chewing, so I moved the arrangement up to a higher spot. And now... she is determined to get up on the bookcase to join the flowers and have her snack.
Just now, she stood up on her hind legs (something she loves to do more than any other feline I've encountered) and reached up three shelves of books, trying to investigate the higher surface on which the arrangement rests. She is now walking around mewing that soft little Salema mew, making sure that I know she needs to be with those flowers. She must floss with the leaves and petals!
What a great day! I like 33 so far.
Posted by bonnie at 7:04 PM
July 8, 2003
What I've Learned from Miss Tyra...
It's not just Miss Tyra. It's all of the anorexics and dysfunctionals on America's Next Top Model. I'm not sure which episode was the first I watched, but it was probably about half-way through. So, tonight, they're doing a little "best of" for the first hour and I am catching up on all the catty. Oh, I have so much to learn to be a true diva!
Today I hurt a friend's feelings. Looks like I misread some signals and a specific request for help and, when I gave advice, I was harsh. I thought she needed it. Oops. I got a nice little over-coals-raking and cried and cried and cried. Still not sure I deserve what I got an earful of, but I'm also not sure she deserved what I dished out, thinking it was what she needed. Ugh. I hate miscommunication. It really sucks.
Chip is getting ready for his visit to Los Angeles. I'm excitedly thinking of things for us to do that will be fun for him and not too terribly expensive or touristy.
Ooh, I wish I could have some popcorn. Hmm.
Okay, if I could just be a diva, I would be a lot less worried about anyone but me. Instead, I worry about what others are thinking... of me. Oh wait. That's me being a diva after all! Cool.
Posted by bonnie at 8:49 PM
June 6, 2003
A Silly Little...
Keith and I had lunch at Hamburger Hamlet after seeing The Italian Job at Mann's Chinese Theatre the other day. Keith used his corporate credit card to pay for the meal. The waitress came back with the signature slip and the card and said, "Thank you, Mr. Feet."
Yes. The card says (under Keith's name) Cricket Feet, Inc.
Posted by bonnie at 11:18 AM
April 17, 2003
Very very very exciting
Keith and I are up at this hour--well, I'm always up at this hour--because 1-Host sucks. Tech support assures us that we have email addresses, but for over 24 hours now, we've received nothing at our Cricket Feet, Hollywood Happy Hour, Casting Qs, or Faith Salie email accounts. And, anyone who has sent anything has also not received back a bounce notice of any kind, alerting them that email did not reach us. Nice.
But here's what's exciting:
There was just a felony stop (Keith says that's the standard lingo) outside our apartment. The cop got over the loudspeaker and ordered the guy to toss his keys out of the car, keep his hands out the window while opening his own car door and then getting out of the car, walking backwards five steps with his hands up and shirt pulled up over his chest, etc.
VERY exciting to hear all of the stuff that we only ever hear on COPS and realize that's all by the book lingo. Tee hee.
Of course, I want to run outside and see. Keith assures me that would be unwise, as this kind of stop often turns into one in which guns are used, since, hey, they're already drawn and such.
But I really really really want to run outside and see!!
No. I stay in and listen, reporting back to Keith, who tells me he's smarter by being farther away from the window than I am--justified of course, by me, in that a bullet couldn't penetrate the window (duh). I tell him, "Ooh! They just had the guy cross his ankles!"
I am so easily amused.
Yes, this is the kind of post, were my mother still alive, I could never make. She'd make me move. Tomorrow.
Posted by bonnie at 2:09 AM
October 27, 2002
Gotta Admit It...
I got the rally monkey fever. Yesterday's game was effin' greatness. Hopin' for more of the same tonight.
Keith just called from the car. He's driving behind an SUV with a jumbotron screen on its butt, broadcasting the pre-game show.
Gotta love LA.
Wait... he just called again. Turned on Melrose and saw a wall of hot pink in a store window. Bobby Trendy has opened a store to capitalize on his Anna Nicole Show fame. Ugh.
The good and the bad and the ugly. I choose the munkee!
Posted by bonnie at 4:46 PM
September 11, 2002
Oh, and I wanted to share this too:
It's a wrestler kid. For sale. In the TV Guide.
God bless America.
Posted by bonnie at 3:29 PM
March 11, 2002
Get started on your Oscar Acceptance Speech (Mad Libs style).
February 3, 2002
Not that Will & Grace is the place to go for lawyer jokes, but did you see this week's episode, where Will finally started introducing himself as a professional tennis player b/c the jokes were getting to him?
I'd join a comic book legal eagle (or squawking hawk) ring or something!
Posted by bonnie at 5:38 PM
October 27, 2000
Who has the strangest polling place?
Mine's in the loading dock of a Smart & Final. Seems strange to choose a leader next to the kitty litter.
Posted by bonnie at 5:22 PM