January 18, 2008
Is It True?
Do we set out on a path for "who we are" in high school and determine our own fate when we're too young to even decide on a haircolor or an elective or a boyfriend and then that's just who we are?
I ask this both because this is the theme of one of the films I'm currently casting and because I recently reconnected with someone who totally remembered me from high school (who I, sadly, have to admit, I don't *really* remember, although she totally looks familiar to me) and she said, "I always knew you'd make it in Hollywood. But I really thought you'd be an actor."
And I remember an encounter with my high school best friend (after our ten-year reunion) in which he said every time he sees Julia Roberts on screen, he screams because he knows I could do it better if I would just get my shit together and do it.
(It's good that he said this, as it caused me to drop out of grad school and move to LA to give acting one more shot, at which point I became very sure acting was not my dream anymore, but dangit, wouldn't you know I'd grow up to become a writer and casting director of all things. Oh, and be really happy with all that.)
But my point in posting this is that I'm remembering this guy from high school. His name is Steve. In our senior yearbook (no, Alex, I'm not telling "that story" yet. Heh heh) he listed, in the "clubs and activities" section, one thing.
And at our ten-year reunion, in that little, "What have you been doing since graduation?" booklet (the one in which I wrote about traveling the world, going to grad school, working in the recording industry in Hollywood and in college radio in Athens, and having the Barbra-Streisand-turned-Oprah-Winfrey pipe dream), Steve wrote one thing.
So, we're coming up on our 20-year reunion. (And I say "we" knowing full well that I won't be going anywhere near Fulton County or North Springs High School in 2008 without having dropped a good 50 pounds and having scored a much better StarMeter ranking.)
Just wondering. What do you think Steve will say in his update this time around?
Are we THAT close to "who we will always be" in high school?
Posted by bonnie at January 18, 2008 11:42 PM
A few things spring immediately to mind:
1. Eff the el-bees. They're as immaterial to your attendance as is your phenomenal success in your (relatively newly) chosen field.
2. Or your StarMeter ranking, for that matter. Drug-related arrests and other tawdry sadnesses have as much to do with big scores as anything else. Or have we all forgotten poor, dead, #1 Chris Penn?
3. I really believe we are closest to who we were pre-HS: probably around 5-7; my own true self, the last time she existed for the first time, was 10 (I was a late bloomer!) So many of the intervening years are about playing with forms and testing things out. HS, esp., is the first time we get to try ourselves out in adult outfits.
All this to say I think most of your fab self is a very young you, and any trips back to HS should be like a fun sociological expedition: Tomorrowland (the original Disney vintage) as seen through your adult eyes, with kindness and amusement and affection. But that stuff ain't real, most of it; it's dioramas.
Disclaimer, however: I went to my 10th and have blown off all other requests since. It was fun, but I don't see it being esp. interesting until far more time has passed--say, 20 or 30 years. So you have a Pasadena from me on going anyway, regardless of poundage or other barometers.
(And yes, I get that this was a musing--ha!--and that you weren't necessarily serious anyway. But just sayin'...)
Posted by: communicatrix at January 19, 2008 10:57 AM
Hello Bonnie, I went to school out here in Maine. I am an actor/screenplay writer and I stumbled onto your write-up. I hope I'm not bothering you, but I like to network - especially for casting directors. Is there any way that you would consider looking at my resume? I do not have an agent yet, but I have a lot of film experience. Here is the address for my online resume and imdb credits;
I have also written 3 screenplays (comedy, action, horror).
Please email me back so that I might know you got this message. Thank you so much for your valuable time. (My email address is "email@example.com")
Sincerely; Bill McLean
Posted by: Bill McLean at January 19, 2008 12:43 PM
Thankfully "WE" are not!!
Posted by: steveintx at January 19, 2008 3:20 PM
Yikes...people really don't read the FAQ.
Posted by: CJC at January 19, 2008 10:25 PM
1. Please know that the weight is nothing that would ever keep me from living my life. (Which you noted too, in your closing parenthetical. You know me so well.) For them that don't, I clarified this over at the MySpace version of this post (in the comments), because it seems that that is a sticking point for some, in reading this entry. Absolutely, positively, NEVER would weight be what keeps me from attending ANYTHING I actually wanted to attend. I've learned not to do that whole, "living my life in ten pounds" thing. Rest assured, what would most likely keep me from the event is money, work commitments, and/or general apathy. ;)
3. I like that idea. That would mean that I'm this happy, smart, performance junkie. :) Works for me!
As always, thank you. And YES. And yes.
Nope. Almost never.
It's okay. The good guys far outnumber the bad guys. ;) And they're who I like to focus on anyway (those goodies). ;)
Posted by: Bon at January 20, 2008 5:30 AM
Oww. That's never a good sound. I'm sorry if/that I bothered you.
Well, this is one good guy that wishes you well in your career.
Posted by: Bill at January 22, 2008 3:38 PM
no worries, bill. It's not the one you that's the thud. It's the hundreds upon hundreds of you per week with the emails, calls, faxes, snail mail, MySpace, etc. It's the sheer volume that causes the thud, believe me. No hard feelings!
Posted by: bon at January 22, 2008 6:43 PM
Thanks Bon. That's very nice of you. Hey, you must be one heckuva great CD if you're that busy! Way to go. And thank you for taking the time to converse, I'll remember you when I start my comedy film venture - I'll need a good CD.
Posted by: Bill at January 23, 2008 7:40 PM
Hangin' in there Bon?
Posted by: Bill at February 2, 2008 9:31 PM