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October 10, 2004

Half an Episode and I'm Hooked

FitTV has this show called Health Cops, where people are "sentenced" to become healthier in 12 weeks. I'm so inspired and just by seeing the last half of the first episode of this rerun series. Hm.

I know it's because I'm stressssssed out about both Tuesday night's CSA Artios Awards (seeing hundreds of CDs, agents, and managers I haven't seen in a year... a year in which I've gone from a size 16 to a size 22) and the news that the show I'm casting IS, in fact, going to do a "casting special," meaning I'm on camera while holding auditions in Nashville and Atlanta later this month.

I'm not a terribly vain person. Ask anyone and they'll tell you, just like my mother, I have my one or two outfits and that's all I ever wear, mainly b/c I like it simple and comfy (see quiz results, below). But it's hard to have been soooo healthy and looking REALLY good at size 16 a year ago and then have my doctor take me off Atkins (my heart was in danger, she said) and see the weight just come back, back, back... and more. I've never worn a 22 before. The new clothes I bought for the job... yeah. There's no denying it now. I have a serious problem.

Okay, so this entry is not about that. It's about how inspiring that show just was. One of the ladies who is built roughly like me (she's shorter and weighs less by a stone, I'd say) was "sentenced" to a three mile walk every day. I can do that. I have to do that. Another woman who drinks like I do was "sentenced" to give up alcohol (and caffeine, which is not an issue for me, since I drink only water and vodka, pretty much). ;) So, I think that's a good goal too. Clean the system OUT.

Anyway, I'm not going to turn this into a personal challenge or anything, just saying that I've had EVERYTHING in my life start REALLY WORKING in the past few months and the ONLY area that's off kilter (and WAY off kilter) is my weight. So, it's a last-ditch shift in energy that's required here. The Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting vibe has CHANGED MY LIFE. And now, just as the book says, my body has taken on all of the negatives I've been dished all my life and it's going to take a mountain of energy to blast that energy back to positive.

Keith came up with a great analogy. He said, "Your body is like a sponge for that negativity, for that pain from your past. It's time to wring that crap OUT of it and let it begin soaking up the GOOD life that you NOW have." The past is over, baby.

I feel empowered.

Odd, how energy works, isn't it? When I would normally be crying my eyes out over the size of my ass, I'm instead filled with energy that will make all the difference. Any effort NOT coupled with the right vibe is futile. I've learned that with my career and relationships this year--AMAZING changes and monumentally positive. Now it's time for my body to benefit from that energy shift too.

Well, this turned out longer than I'd expected. ;)

Keith comes home in the morning. Yay! And I start my new job tomorrow. Keith's in at Google on Tuesday. And we have a meeting with our CPA (ugh). Wild life. Unrecognizably, astoundingly beautiful life. Time for the bod to match.

Posted by bonnie at October 10, 2004 5:18 PM